Recently, one of my friends had the unpleasant surprise of meeting with his ex. Just right in front of his house. She was there, waiting for him. He hadn’t heard about her for two years since their separation. And she told him she realized she couldn’t live without him. The problem is my friend has moved on, and he’s now married and a father of an adorable little boy. So, there was no way he could run back to her.
Yet, when he told me about this story, he admitted he had mixed feelings about this. He loved her, and was devastated when she left him for another man two years ago. But since I know him, he’s not really himself when she’s around. They have broken several times during their time together, and each time, they would come back to each other. Until two years ago, when she met another man. Obviously, she’s not the right person for him. I really believe that love is not about suffering. This is passion, not love. And passion doesn’t last. It can even ruin you, make you lose your mind.
Since this meeting, his couple has started to evolve on shaky grounds. His wife got angry about his ex, and he hasn’t done anything to comfort her about his feelings. I told him he should be clear to everyone, including him. But I can clearly see he doesn’t have a clue about what he has to do right now.
We all have a past. And the past is never far. Yet, we don’t advance in life if we stick to the past. I have another friend of mine who’s in the same situation than his wife. she started dating her man while he was separating. But he hasn’t launched the full divorce procedure yet. When they met, he swore to her he would never get back with his wife, that his feeling for her has completely changed. Yet, this whole separation thing isn’t clear at all in his mind. And as a result, my friend feels a little bit secondary left in this relationship. Since the beginning, she said, they had a slow relationship. They don’t see each other that much. They have to keep their relationship secret because he doesn’t want to offend his wife. And she told me many times she wished she would see him more often. Their relationship isn’t starting at all because he’s constantly hesitating.
I told her that if she complains about this relationship, then it’s not worth it. After all, relationships are there for enjoying each other’s company. If you feel better alone than in his/her company, then you should ask yourself why are you staying with him/her.
Being in a relationship where the ex is still very much present in your partner’s life is difficult to bear. The key is to know why his/her ex is still very much present. The answer says it all.
So, what would you do if his/her ex was still present in your lover’s life?