When I was in College, I had a roommate who had a very high turnover of girlfriends. And some of them had the habit of leaving some of their stuffs in his place. It went from a toothbrush to various panties, tee-shirts, sweatshirts,… My roommate didn’t want to pursue any relationship further, so he stored those things in a box. And if one of the girls asked for her things, he just told her to go and see in that box. So, the poor girl had the humiliating experience to find her stuffs among the other ones. This acted as a reminder she wasn’t alone in his life. And generally, it was enough to make her leave immediately. Some of them, but there were very few, didn’t see this as a problem, and wanted to pursue the relationship further. But then, my roommate just told them he didn’t want to.
I hope he’s not acting like that anymore now.
But I wonder: what does it means when you leave something at your lover’s place, even the most insignificant thing?
I had another roommate who dated a guy not very sure he wanted to be with her. Yet, he left a coat at her place after they spent the night together. And two days later, he disappeared, leaving my roommate very very upset. I told her he would definitely come back. After all, who would have left without a coat? Three days later, he was there, waiting for her, miserable. And asked her to forgive him. She did.
It was Jacques Lacan who described those bungled actions. Basically, the act we commit unintentionally are the expression of our unconscious desire. So, by leaving his coat, my roommate’s boyfriend did express he wanted to be in her life. And so did all the girls with my other roommate.
Two of my friends have been secretly seeing each other. Yet, no one knows except a few of their friends, including me. But even if they try to stay in the shadow, they have made several mistakes so far. How many times did she call me since the start of their relationship because this or that person saw them together, and not just talking? He has come several times at her office to see her and kissed her in the parking lot. This is way too risky, because people in her company can arrive at any time of the day. The first time they kissed each other, it was near the office of one of the tabloids of my country. I forgot to mention that they’re quite famous, and none of them is actually divorced, just freshly separated. And for sure, when this would be make public, this will cause quite a stir.
I guess they want it to be public.
So, have you ever acted unconsciously?