broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Love and hate, not far away

Why are love and hate never far away? In the Greek mythology, Phaedra decides to kill Hyppolitus after he refused her advances. She’s madly in love with him, can’t sleep and can’t eat, but he has vowed chastity. Therefore, her revenge is as dramatic as her love for him.

The more we love someone, the more we’re about to betray him/her when it’s over or when he/she disappoints us.

The betrayal can take many forms. B., 32, for example, spends her time making her ex jealous. “It’s been going on for eight years now. We broke up, but we have never really broken up. Because we keep on running back to each other and going away because he’s not ready to commit. So, in between, I have taken a lot of lovers, because he’s jealous and  it pisses him off when I see other men”.

C., 44, gave all the questions and answers of her husband’s exam to his students whenever they ask for these. She’s about to get divorced…

T., 35, and her ex were working together and built their own company, but when T. learned he was cheating on her, she kicked him out of the company and managed to get the sole direction of it. And he got no compensation for that, because he let her make the foundation of the company.  He didn’t get her help afterwards to find a new job. And she made sure he got a bad reputation by spreading the words.

I., 37, testimony against her ex-husband to the regulator. She discovered he lied to her about his fidelity, about his job,… So she went through his emails, copied those, stole his files and brought everything to the regulator. Her ex is now convicted for tax evasion and fraud.

U., 36, destroyed his collection of comics when he told her it was over. She had still the key to their apartment, and sneaked into it to sort his comics. She just tore several pages of each of those away. She knew it would devastate him. She couldn’t have hit him harder than that.

Sometimes, what we do for revenge draws a line  between us and our ex-lover. And it’s a point of no return. But sometimes, even after some acts of cruelty, some couples do stay together. And crimes grow between them.

It’s difficult to be rejected by the one we love. Anger, despair, desire are many monsters we have to fight. This cocktail of emotions always makes us react oddly after a breakup like that.

This is why if you disappoint the one who’s in love with you, don’t expect him/her to be nice with you afterwards.

But when you hate too much someone, you won’t find peace in your mind. And you’re still granting this asshole one a place too important in your heart and in your life. This isn’t helping in the process of forgetting about our ex.