celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women


When I was in London last week, I met one of my former classmates. I told him I learned that two of our old mates had their second child. And he looked at me and said:”our love life seems to be determined by our last year in high school”. He seemed to joke, but I wondered why he looked at me that way when he said that.  As I was a bit embarrassed, I asked him when did he meet his significant other, and he replied it was when he had to study in Italy.

The truth is he and I used to be attached at the hip when we were in high school, especially during the last year. We were not dating, though. But I had a big crush on him. And fourteen years later, among all the classmates I had, he’s the only one I still see today, with the exception of a very good female friend of mine.

My BFF back then wondered all the time what was going on between us. Whenever we were in a party or a bar, or everywhere else, he was always searching for me. We lost each other when we moved out of our town to pursue our studies. And reconnected two years ago thanks to Facebook.

I guess we’re just good friends now. For my part, I’m not in love with him. He’s not sweeping me off my feet anymore. For his part, he’s considering marrying his long-term girlfriend.

But he raised a fair point: among my former classmates, most of them got married together. The two ones I was mentioning earlier didn’t date when they were in high school. They got together four years after we left school. In fact, almost all of my former classmates waited years after school to start a relationship together. There’s only one exception to this rule.

For most of us, high school was a golden period, the last one we know before entering the adults’s world.  I guess nostalgia pushes us to seek for a partner who will remind us of this. But I don’t know if it’s a general rule.

Personally, I would have the impression of going backwards in my life if I picked one of my former classmates. Back then, high school wasn’t a golden period for me at all. I do enjoy more the life I’m living right now than the one I had when I was a teenager.

After all, we all look for someone who will make us secure. It doesn’t matter if our significant other is the smartest, or the most beautiful, or anything else.  Someone of my past won’t make me feel secure. But for some of my classmates, it seems this is the case.