Friends come and go in our life. Only the true ones stay over the long run by our side.
When we end up a relationship, especially a long term one, not only, we lose the one we used to love, but also his/her personal friends, and friends of the couple. This is the part of the break up.
There are some exceptions. But generally, this is the case. Especially if the break up was really bad. If you left your ex for someone else or he/she did that to you, or left because he/she cheated on you, there’s little chance you will remain friend with his/her friends afterwards. And there’s little chance he/she remain friend with yours too.
Personally, I wouldn’t appreciate if my true friends started to see my ex after the breakup. I would consider this as a betrayal. But also, this would be completely awkward.
“After the breakup, one of his friends started to call me often, and asked me if I would accept having a coffee with him sometime. His mate left me for another woman. I was devastated. I didn’t expect his friend to come up as a shoulder to cry on afterwards. He apologized to what his friend did to me. And started to say negative things about his friend. But I wasn’t interested at all” T, 40, said.
“They picked me as their kid’s godfather. When they broke up because he left for someone else, she said she needed to talk to me about what went wrong. She was so desperate I couldn’t refuse. I feared she would commit suicide. So, I invited her several times to lunch, only if she asked for it. But she wasn’t my friend at first. I was friend with him. Oddly, I didn’t have that many contacts with him afterwards” L., 42, said.
Besides, when the breakup is really bad, it’s a comforting thought to have friends who care about you and who help you to get over it. And these friends can eventually stay longer in your life than your different lovers.
For instance, I have two friends I know since kindergarden. And they probably know more about me than any of the men who shared my life so far. I also know more about my friends than the men who shared their life too.