broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Coming second best

When you apply to a competition, and end up second instead of first, this is disappointing. Of  course, this place is better than finishing last of the competition. But yet, you regret you didn’t make it to the top.

When it comes to love, it’s not a competition. Yet, there are situations where we don’t like to finish second or last. Because there’s only one place we want to occupy: the place of our significant other’s heart. And it’s all or nothing. There is no in-between.

So, when the one you love suddenly tells you he just wants to be friend, or tells you he  fell in love with someone else and that she might be the one, it’s difficult not to feel disappointed. This is how you end up with a broken heart.

This is exactly how I feel right now. The man I love asked me to be just his friend. Just his friend.

This is a pill bitter to swallow. And I know that it’s not possible to develop a genuine friendship with him. Not after what we went through. I would be too resentful and frustrated by this. And I know I couldn’t bear seeing him with another woman.

It’s simply not possible to switch from love to friendship just like that. It’s like being downgraded. And here, friendship is something like a small consolation.

One of my friends told me it’s simply impossible to be friends with the one you really love once it’s over.Because somewhere in your heart, it’s never over. And you will always wish he/she has a change of heart.

She’s been in love with the same man for eight years now. And she told me she tried everything to forget about him. But she simply can’t. She dated other men, cut all contacts with him several times, tried to make him jealous, tried to be just friend with him. But it never worked. “I simply can’t get him out of my mind. I think he’s the one” she said.  But the one she loves is just simply too afraid to commit to her. Yet, he can’t let her go.

She said she can’t be just friend with him. That’s impossible.




5 thoughts on “Coming second best

  1. Dianis says:

    Yes, it’s so true… I’m going through the same situation. The guy I love said he can be just my friend, cause he’s with another women and she seems to be the one. But what it hurts most is that he told me one time, before meet her, that if I was in the same city where he was, things would be different… but he met this women and leave everything he had in his hometown and fly where she was… it’s been a year n half since this happend and I still with my heart broken, because he says I’m a very special person to him and he just.. dont let me go away from him… but the question now is: “how do you heal a broken heart?

  2. Dianis, I know how you feel. Is it difficult to be away from him and cut all contacts with him? If so, then, you should follow an advice a friend of mine gave me very recently: take whatever he wants to give you. You will end up disappointed and get tired of all of this. It’s also important to think about yourself. Be selfish.
    The only way to heal a broken heart is to let time do its job. And focus on yourself, on what you can do.
    Plus, have you ever told him about how you feel?

  3. Dianis says:

    Hey, thanks for the advice, I’ll follow it! sorry for the delay in response, but it was a very good December for me 🙂 I told him my feeling long time ago, before he meet her. But now that they are together, I think I could lose his friendship or whatever it is and very deep in my heart I dont what that… Should I take that risk? but I dont want another “sorry I dont feel the same” and moreover: I see him so commited to his girl, that I think I could lose my time… 😉

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