broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Coming back

Recently, I went to see an old friend of mine who lives abroad. She asked me to meet her at her parents’s house. Her parents divorced seven years ago, and I was surprised to hear they got back together.

Among my friends, she’s not the only one whose parents got back together after they divorced many years ago. When I left high school, one of my friends was devastated because he learned his parents were divorcing. Ten years later, they decided to reignite their flame, without telling my friend about it. He lives abroad too, so it wasn’t difficult for them to hide their affair. Until he discovered it when he came back in our country without telling them about it.

Both of my friends’parents divorced because one cheated on the other. Each time, the father left for another woman. And years later, he came back miserable. In both case, they got back together after a tragic event. My friend n°1 lost her newborn two days after she was born and went into a severe depression after that. My friend n°2 had his sister really sick. She needed to be hospitalized for several weeks to cure her disease. These tragic events forced their parents to see each other very often. But I guess nostalgia played an important role too.

When you spend ten, twenty, thirty years with the same person, the memories you have with him/her can be numerous. Plus, he/she knows you thoroughly after all these years. This thought can be comforting, especially in hard times. And these bonds are hard to erase. These will always remain.

One of my friends says we all have doubts about getting back with our ex. She told me this once as we were speaking about the man I love, who’s separated from his wife. She said that against her, I have a heavy disadvantage: she knows him better than me.  She warned me he could hesitate and think about getting back with her.  And I know she wouldn’t mind about his return. In fact, she’s not accepting their separation. So, my friend makes a point here.

But every story is different, and I also know long term couples who split and never come back together. Simply because they found happiness and a new equilibrium elsewhere. Those who come back do so because they didn’t find happiness and realized they made a mistake by leaving. We can make mistake like that.

Besides, coming back to your ex doesn’t guarantee you will spend the rest of your life with him/her. “I left him for another man who asked me to follow him to Canada. But after six months there, I felt really alone and I realized I didn’t get along so well with my man. So, I packed my bag and return to my ex. He was relieved I came back to him. But for my part, the feeling wasn’t there anymore. One year after we got back together, we decided to split. This time, we both agree we should call it quits, not because he or I found someone else. We ended it just because it was the end of our story, the end of our journey together” A.,42, said.

My ex and I got back together once. He had enough of his girlfriend and I was lonely at that time. But when we got back together, I suddenly remembered all of his bad habits and realized he didn’t change at all since we called it quits seven years ago. And I also met someone else, someone I really liked. So, I decided to leave him for good to live my life with the man I love, the one who really makes me happy”P., 40, said.

Like I said, every story is different. Some ex lovers will go back together and stay together on the long run. Some will but won’t make it till the end. Some will never go back together.


2 thoughts on “Coming back

  1. We often perceive divorce as a negative thing but sometime it is necessary. Sometimes, however, a divorce gives a couple the space they need, and after some time apart, the couple ends up back together again. For some, that time apart helps them remember what they had.

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