broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Online dating, a hoax?

There was an article, really interesting, about online dating in this week’s Economist. It points out that those sites were once only for the geeks in lack of love, but now have spread to mainstream population. It has become the number three way to find love, behind introduction of friends and encounters in bars/restaurant.

Many years ago, people would be shy to admit they met online. But now, mentality has evolved. Among my friends, some have found their match online and are not ashamed to admit it.

So, is it the best way to find love?

It is commonly said that birds of a feather flock together. Those websites have matchmaking engines which put you in front of people of the same interests than you. But this alone doesn’t guarantee you will find love.

A friend of mine found a perfect match online. But when she met her match for real, the spark wasn’t simply there. Instead, she found in him a great friend. Her match did found the one online, though, three years later. And he’s married now.

Love is irrational. That’s why we can fall in love with people who are our complete opposite.

On the website  I subscribed, I already met two guys I really like and I’m about to meet. The first one carries with him a big project, which could easily match with mine. But I’m afraid I won’t find any chemistry between us when I meet him. That’s the trickiest part.

The second one is more like me. But I’m afraid he won’t be attracted to me.

These things are simply out of our control. When you meet someone online, you just have his/her picture and that’s it. You could probably hate his/her voice, his/her smell or get simply disappointed by reality because he/she doesn’t look that good for real.

This is something online dating can never monitor.

Like said a psychiatrist on a TV show I recently saw, everything starts again, from scratch, when you meet the people you fancy online for real. This is why it is important to meet the one you fancy really quickly. This will avoid a huge disappointment when you see him/her for real.

Besides, there’s a line between what we say and what we are. On internet, we can easily give an image of the person we would like to be. While in real life, it’s more difficult, because our body language can betray us. And we can also slip the truth behind the lies in our conversation. It’s difficult to lie when we are in front of someone else. Usually, we can’t look the other in the eyes when we lie. On the internet, we don’t have this problem.

So, I don’t think online dating is the best way to find love. It’s a way, like another one.


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