life, love, men, relationships, sex, thoughts, wacky, women

The best I’ve ever had


Last week, I went to hear Boris Cyrulnik. He was there to speak about his latest book, on shame. But at the end of his lecture, he mentioned an old story about women in the 13th century who basically looked after a man’s fingers before his brain. And by fingers, he also meant the one down below the hand…

This reminded me of a previous conversation I had with a friend of mine, who said she could forgive anything to the one who gives her the best sex she’s ever had. She said that only a man who knows her well can give her the best sex. Maybe she’s right.

Most of my male friends don’t agree with this, on the other hand. They all replied that it depends on what the other did.

But it’s true that female pleasure is much more complicated than the male one. Everything happens in the brain first in a woman. So, basically, if I reverse what my friend said, I would say that it’s impossible for the one who gives us the best sex we’ve ever had to do something unforgivable to us. Because we wouldn’t have some pleasure with someone we don’t trust.

Among my acquaintances, there’s one girl who married the one who gives her the best sex she’s ever had. They slept on the first night together and began a very torrid relationship where they barely spoke to each other. They knew each other a little bit before that because they worked in the same company, although they exchanged very few words. She told me she was a bit intimated by him because he was really handsome. Plus, he had a string of lovers in the company. So, when he proposed to her to drink a coffee, she accepted. Five minutes later, they were at it. After two months of rough sex, “the best she’s ever had” she said, she learned she had to go back to her native town because her aunt passed away. When she returned home, she didn’t have the heart to have sex again with him. But instead of turning his back on her, he took her to the sea side just to breathe some fresh air. And there, they discovered they had many common points.

Besides, what defines the best sex you’ve ever had? When I asked my female friends about this, they all admit that it goes a little bit beyond than just sex. “It’s how he treats you as a lover” replied one of them. “It’s how he makes me feel like a woman” another one said. This just means that we have to be treated the right way in the bedroom.

It’s not just a question of performance, duration, size,… So, in a way, it’s really difficult to find the one who will give us the best sex we’ve ever had. It’s really difficult to find the one, at all.

Maybe those women in  the 13th century were right…

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