Wherever you go on Internet, it’s easy now to get directed to a porn site. And when you search explicitly for porn, you don’t have to search that far. I was reading an article on slate about how porn become more and more watched among young men. And I can’t help wondering the impact of this in a couple.
A friend of mine told me that she once met online a guy absolutely charming. But when she met him for the first time, she had the unpleasant surprise to come and pick him at his place, while he was watching porn. “I‘m not naive, I know that men do watch porn, but did he have to watch this while he knew I was about to arrive at his place?” she said. So, she cut immediately all contacts with him afterwards.
No woman is naive about this either. But we have various reactions to this. A friend of mine made a deal with her man: either they watch porn together, or he don’t watch it at all. She said so far, this has worked. But I can’t help wondering if her man is really honest with her about this.
Another one said she just let him watch, without her. “It’s his secret garden” she shrugged. She doesn’t want to know, see or hear anything about this. But she sometimes admitted that she wondered if she’s enough for him, since she knows he sees a lot of women in those videos.
Some women can get jealous of porn videos, even if it’s stupid. Some imagine they’re in competition with all of the women seen on these, and try to imitate them. This would explain why women shave their vagina like porn stars. And why some of them use and abuse of cosmetic surgery, to look like a porn star.
I don’t know if communication helps to solve this problem. Men are often not proud to speak about this topic at all. So, it can be awkward.
In a world where we can get informations as quickly as we want, it’s easy to get into a routine with video like that. But I think it’s important to draw a line with love. Love and sex are two different things. And love never comes quickly, unlike sex.