Last week, as I was waiting for my friends in front of the opera house, a man came to me and started to chat with me. I immediately noticed he wasn’t waiting for the opera. Everyone around me carried the program of the exhibit. Including me. He was the only one not having one. Plus, he didn’t seem to wait for someone to accompany him, as most of the people around me. He arrived in front of the opera house and came straight to me. I just told him I didn’t speak French, and went away. A man near me saw the scene and immediately called the security of the building. When I returned to my place, the guy vanished, but the security was there.
I don’t think the guy wanted to do me some harm. He didn’t insult me when I ran away from him. I think he just wanted to hit on me. In front of the opera house.
It’s a curious place to cruise, unless you want to meet people who are into opera. The building is not really accessible for people who don’t want to get in. You have to get there. The guy wasn’t a musician, nor the tenor, nor anyone in the public as I could check inside the building when the opera began. He just crashed there. Maybe he wanted to meet a cultivated woman. I don’t really know. I should have asked him instead of turning him down. But that would have been tempting the devil.
Another of my acquaintances told me once he regularly attends couchsurfing meetings, while he has never couch surfed so far. He doesn’t plan to do so either. He said he meets there a lot of interesting people. I guess he’s also looking for his significant other there.
But who do you fool when pretending to be someone you’re not? Is it just a sport? I wonder if these guys woke up one day and said to themselves: “Oh, I haven’t scored yet with a brainiac/traveller/sensitive woman, let’s do this“. Or maybe, this is their ideal. Or maybe, they want to go to the opera/ couch surf/… but don’t know how to do this and hope to get the help of their conquest.
Lacan would describe this as an unsuccessful act. He had long argued that “every unsuccessful act is a successful, not to say ‘well-turned’, discourse“.
My acquaintance told me he doesn’t like to talk about himself and prefers listening to other people’s experiences. As he would live them by proxy. He admitted to be disoriented by me, who asks a lot of questions to people (this is my job…) in general. He said that he talked too much while he’s with me.
If you’re into traveling or opera, you just book tickets to travel/ the opera and go for it. But if you don’t want to commit, choosing someone who’s out of your league is the best way to reach your goal.