broken heart, celibacy, dating site, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The test of reality


If we had met in a bar, would you have picked me?” asked one of my online dates. This is the kind of surprise you can get with online dating. Once you have the person you chatted with on internet face to face, your enthusiasm can quickly disappear. This doesn’t happen when you meet someone at a bar, a cafe, a nightclub, the supermarket,…

Why? Simply because we have the real thing straightforward in front of us in real life. On internet, it’s easy to lie about our looks. In reality, it’s not. Plus, let’s be honest: in real life, most of the online guys you meet would never dare to come and speak to you.  Or they will wait until you’re drunk to make their move.  Like a famous line in a movie well known in my country, “you never know, on a misunderstanding, it could work“…

Yet, what we put online reflects what we are. It’s amazing to read the profile of the men on dating sites. Some are hard to decipher. Some are not. For instance, I found a man who looks for “a woman who’s pretty hot”, and that’s it. It’s crystal clear that he’s just looking for a woman to bang. There were also men who put in their profile they were searching for a woman who’s “not afraid of renovating a house” and who” loves DIY”. And men who look for the woman who will help them mending their broken heart. This is a warning: you could be his rebound.

Some aren’t obvious. S., for instance, said in his profile he was looking for a woman who will accompany him abroad, because he planned to leave our country to go back to Africa. When I met him for the first time, I quickly understood  he wasn’t sure at all about his decision. I also learned later that he wasn’t over his ex, who quickly found another man after their breakup. I suspected he planned this to get over her, to foresee a better future without her.  He was just a guy who looked for a rebound in disguise…

There are also narcissistic men. They will put all their achievements in their profile (it could be their earnings, real estate, circle of friends, …). If they hit on you on internet, they will only talk about themselves and ask no questions about you.

And then, there are the liars. S. lied about his age (he said he was 38, while he’s 42). C. said he knew tons of journalists (I checked among them, and it was false). M. lied about his height (the guy was shorter than me)… I don’t understand this. When they will meet their catch for real, their lie will become obvious.

Internet gives you a hint of the person you will meet. Sometime, men will confirm what you expected from them. Sometime, they will disappoint you. But this is why it’s important to meet really quickly the men you meet online (and that you fancy, that goes without saying).

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9 thoughts on “The test of reality

  1. I attempted online dating a couple of months ago, but got so freaked out by the men who were messaging me, that I immediately deleted my account. Yikes, it’s scary out there huh?! I may try it again someday, but for now, I think I’ll give fate another chance.

  2. @playnrewind,
    Indeed, there are a lot of creepy men who message you. But there are also good men hidden online. Most of my friends told me they had their string of bad online dates before finding the right one. And remember than in real life, you can also find creepy men.

    @kristin Braenne
    Thank you!

  3. jenfullmoon says:

    I know online dating is literally THE ONLY way to date now (or so people tell me),but my judgment of guys online vs. in person is just terrible. I don’t want to get to know someone’s personality before I figure out if I could stand to boink them. Period.

  4. Jen,
    online dating is not the only way to date. It’s just the most convenient way to do so. If you do an activity where you can meet men, it’s probably the best way to get a date with someone you will fancy.

  5. Online dating is almost full of liars. Many men will lie about their profile.It’s the internet,they can hide and lie all they want.But gladly,some men will tell the truth,even in the internet.

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