What makes a great date? Out of the ten dates I had so far, only two had stood out. Why? because the guy truly made an effort for me. When I met S., I wasn’t sure at all I would like him. I even canceled our first date because I didn’t feel it. But instead of giving up, S. pursued me and invited me to a seminar with Milan Kundera. He knew I love this writer Unfortunately, I had a big meeting for my job that day, and I couldn’t come. But I offered him instead to go and have a drink.
On our first date, he let me choose the cafe. But it was too noisy, and we decided to go to the cafe nearby. Before leaving, he offered me to look at the exhibition inside. There were pictures of people with a description of what they wanted to do when they will grow up. S. simply asked me what I wanted to do when I was I kid, and I told him I wanted to be a journalist. I asked him the same question, and he laughed, saying he would like to sculpt wood. Then, we switched to another place, where I let him choose. And we ended up at one of his favorite places, where I fell immediately in love: it was a place where travelers meet. And we talked and talked about everything and nothing until the end of the night.
I had also another fantastic date with B. For our first date, he let me choose between a restaurant and a walk. I chose the walk. He told me to meet him in the park nearby my place. It was raining on that day, but we decided to walk anyway. The park was desert and it was a bit magical there. And we just talked and talked. B made an effort to be with me.
The other dates I had were just boring.Why ? Because the guy didn’t make a particular effort for me. One told me to meet him at a cafe nearby his gym class. Another one told me to meet him at a cafe near his apartment. Another one was just too nervous and even yell at me at some point (!). Another one told me to meet him at a bar near his workplace, and so on and so on.
I’m not saying that if he makes an effort to see you, you will immediately fall head over heels for him. But that helps a lot to feel wanted. I had a date where the guy offered me to pick me in the hallway of my apartment. But afterward, he became really bossy with me and told me things like “women come and go in his life” and “I never dated a woman for more than a year“.
This is just a good starting point. But it has to start somewhere.