celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, wedding, women

Getting hitched no more


A recent article in the Economist says that Asian women with the most education are the most reluctant to get married. Besides, the more diplomas you have, the fewer potential partners you can get.

Well, I can tell you it’s not necessarily the case. Some of my single female friends didn’t graduate from a prestigious College, and some of them even dropped out of it. Yet, they also find it difficult to find their match.

Most of young women these days don’t want to end up like their mom.  They all say they don’t want to be like  their mother, completely subdued to their father, or broken-hearted because their husband left for another one.  Of course, this is a painful experience we all want to avoid when we grow up.

So, after a series of bad dates, some of them prefer to stick with their girlfriends. And this is how they stay single for a long period.  Among my single friends, who are for most of them over 30 year-old, they all act like that. Their social life is very rich, and they are very satisfied with the way it goes. Yet, some of them still dream about getting married and having kids. Very few contemplate the option of a sperm donor or an adoption, out of wedlock.

Some will end up getting married. I’m sure. As we grow old, the number of single friends diminishes. The prospect of getting old alone pushes people to find someone and start a family.  This hasn’t change.

The truth is here in my country, marriage is coming back with a vengeance, despite one marriage out of two ending in a divorce. People don’t hesitate to marry because they know how easy it is now to get divorced. Before, the long procedure hindered some couples to get divorced.

As for the most educated women, maybe there’s another factor playing in their celibacy. They all look for someone like them. Which leaves them very little potential partners. But they can be intimidating. Education is one thing, and I believe it is very important. Yet, when it comes to relationships, it can be useless. If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, education itself isn’t enough. It won’t necessarily help you getting along with the opposite sex, even if the guy has more diplomas than you. Worse, he can see in you a potential co-worker.  Diplomas are appealing to a recruiter, not to a lover.

What helps a lot in a relationship is common points (apart from a diploma!). That’s why it’s important to have hobbies and to know what you love, even the silliest thing. Even if you work 60 hours a week. You never know. I know two PhD who clicked because they share a passion for doodling during seminars… Their diplomas helped them to find each other (they wouldn’t have met otherwise), but it’s not that factor that influenced their bonding.

And always remember this: “on n’attrape pas les mouches avec du vinaigre”. So, diplomas are great. But they don’t give you the right of letting yourself go…

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