broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Healing over you


When do we know when we’re over for good from our ex? According to the people around me, we know we’re over when we can confront him/ her and feel nothing in particular. But this is really tough.

And it also depends a lot on how the relationship ended. If the relationship ended on a mutual agreement, it could be easier. But it’s not easy at all.

One of my friends managed to get over her ex. But she told me she needed a lot of time apart from him to realize she was over him for good. “And you should never rule out that because you moved on, you’re not attracted to him anymore” she said. “Once, I went at his place, and he opened the door in his towel. He just got out of the shower. I yelled at him to put some clothes on, because, damned, he’s still hot” she added.

What not to do is to stay in your ex’s life. “Three days after our break up, I called him and told him I missed him a lot and had a hard time getting over him. He told me to come at his place so we could talk. When I arrived, he looked at me, kissed me, and we made love. But when it was over, he told me that he regretted what we had done and that I should take my distance with him. I was devastated” K., 34, said.

En plus, if he left you for someone else, this is certainly not an option. Not only you can be bitter about this, but also, you can validate his choice. Which is even worse.

He left me for one of his coworkers. I was so pissed that I couldn’t help criticizing openly whenever he came to pick our children. He got so mad at me for doing so that we fought a lot during our divorce procedure and I nearly lost the battle for keeping our kids. Plus, he married his coworker“P., 40, said.

Time heals the wounds. But sometimes, time isn’t enough to dampen the strong bond you had. “I cut all contacts with him after he told me he wanted to end our relationship because I was too young for him. Four months later, I accidentally bumped into him in a meeting. I didn’t want to talk to him. But he pursued me in the hall and asked me if we could have a coffee together. I accepted. He told me he missed me and he realized he made a mistake by leaving me. He asked me to come back. But I didn’t want to get hurt again, so I told him I wasn’t sure at all. The next morning, he was down at my apartment, with a huge bouquet and a sign saying I’m sorry. I decided to take him back” H.,34, said.

And even years later, some former lovers decide to rekindle their relationship. I guess true love goes through the years.

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2 thoughts on “Healing over you

  1. I think overall this is a good post. However, I’d disagree with the “Time heals the wounds.” – If you break your leg and don’t go to the doctor, will time heal that wound? Now a physical injury is certainly not the same as an emotional one but wouldn’t the same work/effort to seek help out of the wounded state remain the same?

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