In the movie “The switch“, the characters played by Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston end up together after he realized he’s the father of her child. She didn’t get pregnant by accident. She chose a sperm donor, but not in a sperm bank.
In the movie, the supposed sperm donor and Jennifer Aniston started to date a few years after the child is born. And she ends up with the real sperm donor, who realized he switched his sperm with the other guy while being drunk.
All ends well in that movie. But in real life, this can be really different. Really different.
One of my former coworkers was (I hope he stopped) a sperm donor. He even proposed his sperm to one of former other coworkers, who wanted to have a child. But she refused. He’s far from the right guy. OK, on paper, he’s tall. But he’s not particularly good-looking. And he has a really bad character. He was the guy in my newsroom who tried to score with every young woman. He scored sometimes. Any woman with a little self-esteem would immediately hate him. So, I can’t imagine him getting in a relationship with the mother of his biological child.
As for the mother, not everyone would want to hook up with her sperm donor, especially if the guy fathered 50 or more children. Because sperm banks don’t care how many children are fathered by the same sperm donor. This is the case in the United States, but also in other european countries. This raises of course a lot of ethical issues. Because two donor siblings who don’t know about their history (and donor) can mate and their child could develop severe biological problems associated with these kind of unions.
It can happen though that the child wants to know about his/her sperm donor afterwards. But that is probably the only link that connects for real the mother, the child and the donor. After that, the connection we can make depends on our personality. And what are the odds it could work?
No one can force us to be in a relationship. Not even because we have some biological link. A friend of mine lost all contacts with her father, who wasn’t her mom’s sperm donor, when she was 8. He left her family and never gave any news. He just waved her and her sister goodbye, and apologized for not being the best father in the world. She’s 40 now, and she still hasn’t heard about him ever since.