broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Friends with benefits

What does it really mean to be friends with benefits?

I recently read an article about these kinds of relationships, which are the most complicated ones.

“Friends with benefits” doesn’t mean you’re just his/her booty call. It means much more than that.

Generally, it starts between two people who already have a bond. But for a reason, they don’t want this relationship to see the light. This is why these relationships are kept secret.

There are various reasons for ending as friends with benefits. The first one is probably between ex’s who didn’t respect the needed distance with each other after a break up. But this friendship is fragile, because eventually, one will move on quicker than the other.

But it can happen that after years of distance, some ex rekindle their relationship but refuse to make it official.

B. and I didn’t speak to each other for one year after our break up. We parted ways in the most difficult conditions. He told me he had enough of my bad temper, and I told him I had enough of his numerous absences. I thought it was best not to speak to him again, because I realized he wasn’t good enough for me. But one year later, we met again at a party. He immediately came to speak to me and asked me how I was going. He also mentioned he found someone else. A friend came to my rescue and I left him in his corner. But when I got home, he left me numerous messages on my mobile phone. He said he missed me terribly. He asked if we could have a drink sometime. I said yes. After all, it was just for a drink. But it turned out differently. We ended up sleeping together, but I thought it was just an accident. When I got home, he called me and said he wanted me back in his life for good. But I wasn’t sure at all I wanted him back. So, we developed a strange friendship, where we would sleep together, but no one knew about us” R., 35, said.

Friends with benefits also starts when you don’t want your relationship to be public, for various reasons. The term is here secret lovers rather than friends with benefits.

Sadly, friends with benefits don’t remain friends for long. There is a lot of feelings involved in those kinds of relationships. Which make them really complicated. When it’s too complicated, chances are it’s not sustainable.


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