Relationships can offer us a lot of frustrations. But it’s worth to ask how you get frustrated by your significant other.
Recently, I got into a huge fight with my ex, who has the ability to be alternatively warm or cold with me. It started weeks before. He begged me to come to a party with him, but I had other plans. I accepted to change my plans for him. And the D-day, at that party, he simply ignored me the whole evening to chat with other women.
Since I know him, it has always been like that. I went to New York with him, but when I arrived there, he told me he had a lot of work to do and that he couldn’t spend a lot of time with me. He even invited his coworker to join us during our dinner.
I understood it wasn’t working between us when we went hiking together. He was constantly hung on his mobile phone. The last day of our trip, we finished our path earlier and had some spare time. I was sitting on a bench, reading my book, and he was again talking on his phone. He was standing very far from me. He was constrained by the space around us. But he could have gone further, I guess he wouldn’t have hesitated.
He had also the nasty habit of telling me a lot of women were after him. And he lied a lot to make him feel important.
A friend of mine, who’s a psychologist, told me he’s hysterical. Men can suffer from hysteria too. Apparently, guys who suffer from this pathology have that unpleasant habit of playing hot and cold with women. They also suffer from erection trouble and impotency.
This kind of man will always keep you at the distance they want you to stay. My ex has this nasty habit of running after me whenever he felt I was trying to forget about him. He didn’t want me to leave for good when he told me it was over. Instead, he insisted that we saw each other two days later, and he offered me to take a walk, bought me flowers, and kissed me. And then, he became cold again.
I had a lot of difficulties to get out of this infernal circle. To be fair, I’m still struggling to get away from this.
If you choose to stay in that poisonous relationship, let me just tell you this: you will feel like shit every time he becomes cold again with you.
Is there a way to break that circle? Yes. Tell him how you feel. Don’t lie. I’m very confused about my feelings, so I know how difficult it is. But I wrote down all my feelings on a piece of paper. And I realize how hurt I was.
Hysterical people can feel empathy. That’s why it is important to tell your feelings. To set your boundaries. To tell your limits. It helps a lot, to be honest.