celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

A little bit of competition

Men like it when there’s competition. That’s what told me a guy I met in a seminar, when we talked about the possible creation of an alternative trading system for small and mid caps companies in Europe. He said this would bring competition to the market, and that competition is always good, like in love. “It gets more interesting when there’s competition in love” he said.

Is it?

From a female perspective, I can say that I hate when there’s competition for a man. Jealousy can be poisonous.

But from a male perspective, that’s different. Take for example this experience:

Once, we were invited to a party, but my man quickly disappeared to chat with his coworkers and left me alone. I had noticed when I entered the room that one guy was heavily staring at me, so I decided to have a chat with him. He was very funny and made me laugh. Two minutes later, my man came back at my side and wondered what was going on. He looked at the guy and told me we’d better go home”  J., 34, said.

When I met him, he was surrounded by women and had many female friends. He was a player, in other words. But I had also male friends who kept on inviting me to go to the cinema, to art exhibitions, to conferences. And I heavily counted on them to take me out as much as possible at the beginning of our relationship. I didn’t want him to think I was easy. So, he became jealous. Three months after our first date, he asked me if we could be exclusive to each other, because he couldn’t stand me going out with my male friends. I didn’t stop seeing them, though. I still go out with them to art exhibitions,… but at a slower pace” G., 35, said.

This competition doesn’t work all of the time though. It depends also on the bond you have with your significant other. And there’s also a rule: it doesn’t work if you sleep with your male friends.

A male friend of mine told me he used to date a woman who had four different lovers. He discovered it after three months and was shocked to learn about it. So he dumped her. “I didn’t feel she wanted me. I was just another lover to her” he said.

And it also depends on how you treat your significant other.

She kept on nagging on me for everything I did. So, if I saw her with other guys, I thought they were better than me, and I didn’t want to bother them. Trying to make me feel jealous didn’t work here” said one of my male friends.


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