Recently, a guy I met during a seminar sent me an email, asking me out for a drink. I said yes, but I got disappointed when he told me to choose from the three bars he picked for our date.
The three bars he selected are fine if you want to hang out with your friends late at night, after a restaurant or another kind of gathering activity like that. But these are absolutely not appropriate if you want to meet someone for the first time. Because these are very noisy and very crowded. “But that’s fine, because if he’s boring, you can easily lose him in the crowd” said one of my friends.
The truth is, many years ago, I had a first date in one of the three bars he picked. I let my date choose the location, and I didn’t know about it.
When I entered the room, there was a jazz band playing live. I took a glance at the list of drinks, and there were only alcohols. Whenever my date tried to talk to me, I couldn’t hear him. He couldn’t hear me either. So after twenty minutes, we left for another place.
So, I know it’s not a great place for a date, unless if you really want to have a drink, literally. And don’t want to talk.
The two others bars were a bit of the same. Therefore, I decided to cancel the date.
A male friend of mine told me the guy wasn’t that interested, because if it was the case, he would have let me pick the place, or he would have pick a place very near my work or my home. “I went to the bar next to my future wife’s work when we had our first date. I just wanted to see her“ he said.
Or even better. S., my ex, invited me to listen to Milan Kundera while he was in our town. Unfortunately, I was busy that night and I had to decline the invitation. But it touched me, because I really like this writer. For our official first date, he let me choose the bar.
B., for our first date, asked me to join him in the park just nearby my home, so we could have a walk.
Those were just effortless for me.
But from the start, I knew they just wanted to see me. Here, it was just a sign he didn’t actually want to talk to me.