Once, I had an enlightening conversation with one of my ex’s, about the foolishness of rushing into relationships. Both of us were guilty of it at that time. He came into my life at a time when I wasn’t really over my previous relationship, and I came into his life at a time when he wasn’t over his ex at all. Our relationship was simply doomed from the beginning.
As you can imagine, our relationship was plagued with resentments toward each other, because we were jealous of each other’s ex, and because we couldn’t help comparing ourselves to our previous lover. We also became suspicious of each other’s intention in this relationship. He asked me several times if I would have picked him among other men in a bar. That was shocking to me, because honestly, I couldn’t answer to that question. On the other hand, I was dating two other men at the same time, but I let them go to concentrate on my relationship with him. He also dropped his friend with benefits, he told me. But still, we both had someone else in mind.
So, after numerous fights with each other, we decided to “talk”. It was on Valentine’s Day. Not the greatest day to have that kind of conversation. Around us at the restaurant, there were only couples who looked at each other with tenderness. That wasn’t our case…
The beginning of our conversation was rocky. We basically knew there were something wrong in our relationship. But we wouldn’t want to admit why. He started to ask me again a lot of questions about why I picked him. As if I picked him like I would have picked some random stranger. That was the signal I sent to him the whole time we spent together. I just gave him the impression I used him to forget about my ex.
I was mortified at the end of the evening when I realized this. Three days later, I called him and told him it was better for us to call it quits. He didn’t react at all. I also erased his number, deleted him from my Facebook friends, delete his email adress,… It was necessary.
He was also using me to forget about his ex. But he wasn’t successful at all, because he kept on attending meetings where she would show herself , with her new man. He wanted me to accompany him to those meetings, but I refused. I understood what he had in mind.
I should have known about it at the beginning. I didn’t see the signs.