The first words you say can lead people to judge you quickly.
Recently, a man I met in a seminar about emerging markets asked me what was my religion. It was his first words to me. I have never spoken to him before. The guy wasn’t a priest, he was a fund manager. So, this was really weird.
Later, he found my room number and woke me up at 1am to have a drink with him. I refused. The next day, he came to my table and asked me if I was the woman he woke up at 1am. I looked at him and asked him what the hell he was doing. He disappeared. But during the two next days, he was constantly following me everywhere, and I had to find ways to lose him. At the end of the seminar, I refused to give him my contact details. He found me on skype. I didn’t accept him. Luckily, he didn’t find me on Facebook.
From his first words, I could tell the guy was a little bit wacko. I later learned he also pursued another woman during that seminar.
Earlier, when I was in New York, I met a journalist who asked me if I knew what was the name of the CEO of Goldman Sachs. He was fooling around with another journalist on this topic, and turned to me who was sitting two tables apart from them to ask that question. When I replied, his face lighted up and he told me “Wow, you knew the answer straight away, while I was battling for 30 minutes to find that name. Thank you for saving me“. I laughed. After that, I went out with his group all of the time, and we exchanged our contact details at the end of the stay. But while I was hugging all the other journalists from our group, I just shook hands with him, I can’t explain why.
So, are the first words we say important? I would say yes. Sometimes, it can tell you where your relationship is headed. A friend of mine, who just broke up with her man, told me his first words to her were:”are you sure about your hair color?“. Her ex wasn’t a hairdresser, BTW.