broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Not good enough

A little while ago, I introduced one of my cousins to one of my best friends. We organized a night out with my group of friends and my cousins and my friend was placed near my cousin because I thought they had a lot of common points. Both were going out a lot and enjoyed meeting new people all of the time. But they didn’t click.

I saw my friend really intimidated that night by my cousin. She didn’t speak a lot. She wasn’t herself. When we hang out together, she’s the funny one of our group. Here, it wasn’t the case. My cousin ended up speaking with my other friends. Yet, after this night, my cousin told me he really enjoyed her company. I was a little bit surprised.

On Facebook, I could see him leaving her a lot of messages, but she didn’t reply to him. I didn’t understand why. Three months later, my cousin went to a party where he met his girlfriend, who works for a sport events organizer. I met her three months later when he introduced her to me.

When I told this to my friend, she told me she knew he would pick a woman like her. “When I looked at him, I could tell I wasn’t the one for him. I’m just a social assistant. What would he do with me?” she said.

I introduced her to my cousin because she asked for it. She saw his pictures and told me he was really handsome.

This is not the first time this has happened to her. Most of her dates were like that. She thought the guy was handsome, but then she feels like she’s not good enough for him, that he’d probably be better with another woman. She’s very beautiful and funny though. Yet, she always sells herself short like that. My cousin’s girlfriend is less funny and less beautiful than she is. But the difference is his girlfriend has more self-confidence.

I do admit I have been intimated by men too. I went once to have a drink with a man I met at a seminar. He was really handsome. But I thought he was only interested in me because of my job, and not because I was interesting and beautiful. I thought a guy like him would be better with a really beautiful woman.

I do believe negative thoughts like that are really bad and can ruin your chances to meet the one. Unless the man you meet is looking for sex, chances are he will see if you would make a good companion. It’s normal to feel a little bit intimidated at the beginning of the conversation. But if he’s a great guy, he will try to launch the conversation, and you should feel at ease after a while.

When you go to a lot of dates, you can feel at ease with every new guy you meet. It helps you a lot to be yourself. You will immediately know if you like the guy or not. If you think you’re not good enough, you can pass next to the great guy ever, and fall into the hands of a manipulative liar who will immediately recognize in you your weakness and use it to seduce you.

It’s better to attract someone with our qualities than our flaws.