broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Forgetting an ex isn’t that easy

Forgetting an ex is something very difficult. We can have an ex who has a special place in our heart, even if there’s been years since we broke up. Sometimes, even time doesn’t help us to heal the wound. When I look on google search how many entries there are for “how to get back with my ex”, there are more than 405,000,000 results. Numerous books offer us the “key” to get back with the one we still love. There’s such a market for the broken heart.

Is there a remedy to get over him/her? When I see one of my friends struggling with her ex boyfriend, I’m not that optimistic. She has tried everything with him. She cut all contacts with him for months. She tried to make him jealous. She tried to date other men to forget about him. Her only option left is to leave my country for good, but she doesn’t want to do that. And I don’t want her to sacrifice her life because of him.

She has been back with him many times despite all of her attempts to forget about him. Yet, she never got what she wanted with him. Now, they are not really back on, but they still go on holidays together and spent an awful amount of time together. “I just can’t let him go”  she said. “I don’t understand. I can see my other ex’s kissing a woman and feel nothing about it. But with him, it’s different. I’m jealous. It still pinches my heart if I see him with another woman” she said. It’s been 14 years she’s into that weird relationship.

It would have been easier for her if her ex put a stop to this. But he doesn’t want to leave her alone. None of them want to end this for good.

Yet, it’s only our own decision that help us to forget an ex. Deep in our heart, we know what we can do. When the feeling isn’t right, it should serve as a guideline.

Being haunted by our ex can make us feel miserable. There’s a price to pay when we try numerous times to get back with our ex and fail at it every time. The pain of being rejected can grow deeper and deeper. But in the case of my friend, I would say she’s unable to feel that pain anymore. She’s just too numb, as if she was knocked out.

The only way to get out of this circle is to learn how to love ourselves. The more we love ourselves, the less we tolerate when we’re hurt by someone else. There are tricks to love ourselves. The first one is to learn how to receive compliments. For some people, it’s not easy at all.


2 thoughts on “Forgetting an ex isn’t that easy

  1. Hey Jen, you’re so right! I’m going through a kind of “obsessive” relationship… I dont even know if I may called relationship… I wrote him a few days ago, because my personality doesnt accept the fact that someone leaves me without explanation, so I asked him for reasons why he didnt want to stay with me after all we said and lived together…. answers? none… he hasnt answered yet and I’m affraid he wont… so I’ll have to forget the reasons and get back my life…
    Tks for sharing this experiences… that makes me think there are so many persons involved in deep situations 🙂

  2. Dianis,

    He may never answer to your questions. Men aren’t like us. They don’t like to justify their actions. The more you insist to have answer from him, the more you will push him away from you. Get back to your life. Don’t be like my friend, who has spent a lot of time and energy in that relationship.

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