thoughts, women

Lessons from a tough journalism experience

Today, I saw on TV a special edition on poverty in my country. They showed working families who have a hard time finishing the month not in debt, poor old people who can’t afford to pay for medical aid, and they also interviewed a young woman who said she studied journalism, speak many languages and got the license to teach.

She was 29, and unemployed.

This is something I don’t understand.

Over the years, I’ve seen many many young students in my newsroom who were there for work experience. Some of them even got hired in my newsroom, despite the dire conditions in newspapers in my country (and elsewhere). But to be fair, not everyone was keen to work for my newsroom, as we’re a financial and economical newspaper. I’ve also seen young people making terrible mistakes and unable to pull an article together.

Yet, for those who were really motivated, it really paid off. Some accepted to work for 3 months in my newsroom with a low salary just to get experience. And it paid off. Even though only one of them was hired in my newsroom, the others did all find a place in another newsroom, but most of the time, it was abroad.

I had a difficult start too. When I finished my studies, there were no place available in the newsrooms. So I accepted to work for a bank, not knowing if I ever go back into the world of journalism. Then, two years later, one of my coworkers said they were looking for a financial journalist in my newspaper. I applied. And I realized there weren’t many candidates for that job.

I wasn’t prepared at all for the job I took. But I was willing to do my best, because I knew this was my chance. It wasn’t easy at all. But nothing is easy and that’s why we should fight.

It was my dream to become a journalism. I’m one now. But I would have never guessed I would be a financial journalist. To become who I am today, I accepted many sacrifices. And if I had the choice, I would have made those decisions again.

So, if you want to be a journalist, be prepared to suffer. It’s a tough job: you don’t get many rewards, there’s a lot of jealousy with other journalists, and the readers won’t forgive you if you don’t tell them the truth. Plus, you can be regularly threatened by the companies you cover for your newspaper.

But it’s a job who gives you an extraordinary chance to change the world, by putting your finger on something that’s wrong, as would say Hubert Beuve-Mery.

Last year, I wrote a piece that made me win an award. And our government has decided to make a hearing on this topic, because of my article.

My experience in the banking sector taught me that every job is difficult now. That’s why it’s important to find a job where you will fight with all your soul.

broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Teenagers, fragile to love

When you listen to people who work closely with teenagers, some of them tell you that they take love very seriously, at the risk of being desperate and suicidal when there’s a break-up.

Is this a new phenomenom? No.

When we fall in love, we put ourselves at risk. I can tell you that I did suffer too after the man I love said  we needed to be friends. All my friends were worried for me after the break up. They kept close to me because they were afraid I would commit suicide. I must admit I was a bit suicidal after this. But there was something that kept me going on: my friends.

Yet, most teenagers do take love seriously in my country. They see love as a way to mend everything that is wrong in their life. That’s why when it’s over, it’s almost the end of the world. It just show how unexperienced they are when it comes to love.  When they grow up, they will learn to be more careful with their heart. Everyone does do after bad experiences.

Then, why the suicide among teenagers? This hasn’t got much to do with love. At that age, the music in our head isn’t really tuned. We can feel a lot of contradictory feelings. And the spleen teenagers go through has been told by many many great writers, like RImbaud. When I was in high school, some of my classmates attempted to commit suicide. Some because they were heart broken. Some because they were just fragile. None of them succeeded in their attempt. And for most of them, they are married and have children now, with a good job.

The first time love urges us to take its guidance is important though. Nobody forgets about it. I’ve never forgotten about my first love. But with time, and the help of those who care for you, the pain of a broken heart disappear.

broken heart, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Behind the Petraeus affair

After the Petraeus scandal broke, many of my friends wondered what the hell was going through Paula Broadwell’s mind to get into such a mess.

But depending on the age of my friends, the question was either oriented toward Paula Broadwell or the general Petraeus.

My older friends very very critical of her behavior. They said she was the one who seduced him by flattering him through her biography and following him everywhere. After all, when you look at her, she’s quite attractive.

One of my friends is married to a professor, who sees a lot of young and beautiful female students. She told me she has noticed many times some students trying to seduce him by sending him sweet letters  and following him in every of his lectures. Once, he crossed the line and had an affair with one of his former students. But it didn’t last, because of her jealousy and the age difference. My friend asked for a divorce. But while they were separating, she realized she couldn’t really let him go. So they canceled their divorce. And now, her husband is remaining very distant to his students, female and male.

Some couples do survive an infidelity. It depends on the strength of the bond you have with your significant other.

My younger friends don’t think the same about the Petraeus scandal. They say it’s his fault. He seduced her. After all, Jill Kelley was also after him. So he must have something attractive. His position could also influence Broadwell, who saw him as a mentor.

Love isn’t rational. It speaks to our unconsciousness. He may have speak to her beyond words.

Personally, I feel a little pity for Broadwell. She was the one who had the most to lose in this affair. Petraeus may have stepped down. But his career, at 61, is behind him now. While she, at 40, has still a lot to prove. Her work is now discredited. And she can say goodbye to any promotion in a close future.  Harvard dismissed her.

The risk was high.

And she blew it because she was jealous. Hurt too.

broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The one you run to

Just after his victory, Barack Obama posted this picture on his twitter account. It was taken in August, during his campaign. The day he got elected again,  his family was at his side during the ceremony. There was just emotion in the air.  No fuss, no drama.

In France, six months earlier, it was a different story with François Hollande when he got elected president.

France may be the land of drama like that. Even with Sarkozy, the election was full of drama. It was said his ex-wife didn’t vote on the D-Day. The day of the ceremony, she reluctantly attended it. And then she left him weeks later, for her lover.

With Hollande, it wasn’t better. Instead of taking his lover into his arms the D-Day, he went after Segolene Royal, his ex. Valerie Trierwieler was furious and asked him to kiss her in front of all the camera. Gosh, I would have felt humiliated if I were her.

But  this makes me wonder: is there someone we would naturally run to whenever we’re happy or sad? Does this mean this person is our soulmate?

I asked my friends those questions. For some, the answer was obvious. “My man” one of them said. “My wife” another one said.

For some other, the answer was difficult to find. One of them eventually admitted she would not run to her man, but another one who was really hold dear. “He’s my best friend. But I could never have him” she told me. She used to be his classmate, and was secretly in love with him. Once, she told him about her feelings after a drunken night. But he replied to her he loved her too much to lose her like that, and asked her to remain his BFF. Since then, they remained close. She started to date another man, while he had a heavy turnover of women.

Another one told me she didn’t find a good answer to my questions. “I don’t share that much my joy and my fears” she said. “I just have a hard time sharing my feelings with others” she added.

As time goes by, I wonder if these answers come more easily. After all, after a certain age, some people decide to stop lying about themselves. Or define their priorities in life.

But I guess, when you’re able to say who you would run to, that says it all.

celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The modern Marquise of Merteuil

In France, a future trial is now fascinating all the medias, though the former Minister of Justice (pictured here) has insisted on her right for privacy.

The case involved her and the supposed father of her little daughter, a well known business man who used to be married to a rich heir who got paraplegic after a plane accident.

In 2008, when the news broke she was pregnant, there were curious statements coming from a former Spanish Prime Minister, a Minister of Sport, and another famous business man. They all denied they were the father of that unborn child.

When she gave birth to her little daughter, there was also something very peculiar at the maternity. Mrs Sarkozy (not Carla, but Nicolas’mother) paid a visit to the Minister at the maternity. She was accompanying her son (Nicolas’s brother) who also denied he was the father of that child.

Three years later, the news broke that woman was suing the “real” father of her child. At the time, he remained hidden from the media. His identity only came out now.

In an article, Dominique Desseigne is said to prove she was multiplying lovers at the time and to deny the paternity test. He’s prepared to fight hard. And so is she.

Obviously, she was the one who wanted to have a baby. While he wasn’t into it. Unfortunately, I know some examples like that, especially with women having an affair with a married man.  A friend of mine got trapped like that.

The sad thing in this story is the child. She will grow knowing about the battle between her biological parents, at the risk of feeling guilty of her existence.