broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Experiment before settling down


In most Eastern countries, young lovers still need their parents’ approval if they want to get married. And marriage is still the rule.

In Western countries, many of us chose our significant with our heart, without our parents’ approval. Generally, our parents have to adapt to the one we love and want to live with. If they don’t, the lovers just take distance with their family.  I also saw cases where one or both lovers didn’t speak to their parents before meeting each other.

Because we have this freedom to choose whoever we want, we also increase the risk of falling for the wrong person.

Unfortunately, nothing prepares us for our love life. We are not taught in school how to behave and how to know if we have found someone who’s good for us.

That’s why it’s important to be careful before choosing to lay your destiny in someone’s hands.

This is a learning process. We all make mistakes. But it’s important to know quickly why we make such mistakes.

When we are young, some of us already dream about settling down. This wasn’t my case. My mom and my family repeated to me a billion times when I was a teenager that  I shouldn’t get attached to my boyfriends. They told me there was a time to settle down, and that it wasn’t now.

In my school, fortunately, many girls thought the same way as I did. And those who looked for settling down were the ones who needed their parents’ approval. One of my classmates experienced these painful situations where her mother turned down every boyfriend she had back then. She never went against her mother will. And she finally met the man who got her mother’s approval.

For those who didn’t have a collection of boyfriends  or their parent’s approval, the road ahead was tricky.

There was a girl in my high school who was chubby, unloved and not very well integrated with the rest of us. We didn’t know her any boyfriend. After high school, she went to study nursing, where she met a group of people who devoted their time in the Third World country. They often traveled to Mali where they worked for a NGO. She met there a man who asked her to marry him very quickly. He came back with her in our country, with his little kid. He had no job, no skills, so she was the sole money maker in their house. After she gave birth to her second child, he disappeared, leaving her with his kid. She’s now struggling to live with three kids, and a small financial resource.

With the economical crisis we go through, these situations get more and more dramatic. The first people hit with poverty are the single mothers.

So, please be careful.

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2 thoughts on “Experiment before settling down

  1. I learned this the hard way – getting married at 17 to my young love that I had kind of nurtured and held on to at 15. We had two kids, were together for 11 years. Divorce was the best thing for me because I realized just what we had been missing all along – we both grew up into to completely different people. Now that I am dating , essentially for the first time. I am learning a lot about myself.

    However, one thing for certain – I’d NEVER in a million years let my Mother choose my mate. 😉 I’d die a single old dog lady before I’d ever allow such a thing. Haha.

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