celibacy, life, love, relationships, thoughts, women

The trade off with love

Every choice we make implies a sacrifice. But we decide to choose what’s best for us over what’s not that important. At the cost of regretting it sometime.

Recently, I went to see my young cousin who just started college. He told me he was surprised I knew his math professor in high school. She used to be in my class but we weren’t friends at the time. She was just too focused on her studies at the time, while I was more of a party girl. I used to suck badly at maths (I still do) while she was really good at it.

After our high school, we chose the studies which fitted us the best: civil engineering for her, journalism for me.

She’s now a math teacher, very tough. But my cousin told me he didn’t understand her choice. “She’s brilliant. I don’t understand why she chose such a low key career. She could have reached a higher grade” he said. “But she told me once she liked it this way, because this gives her plenty of time with her young kids” he added.

Back then, in high school, she used to struggle with love. None of our male classmates found her attractive at the time. There was even one who made a bet he would go out with her. And he did. Apart from him, we didn’t see her with any boyfriend. Until she announced to us she was dating a guy she met on the train, who was studying civil engineering.

After her own studies, she married him. And decided it was best to put her career ambitions aside to concentrate on her kids and her family. So, she chose to be a teacher.

Some of my other classmates are teachers too. But there’s one who’s a comedian and a photographer once the class is over. And she’s focusing on her passion. She’s not married yet, and she doesn’t have any kid.

There’s another one who chose to be a teacher. But her path was really clear from the end of our high school, because she chose to study latin philology. In my country, those who take this kind of studies have a high chance to end up as a teacher. But this is what she wanted to do. She’s married now (to the biggest womanizer in my high school…) and has two children.

As if there was a trade off between our personal ambitions and our love life.

We’re both 34. I don’t know yet if their life would change over time. I don’t know how my life will evolve either to be fair.

But at least, everyone of my classmates has a job. We all can count on it if, for a reason, our love life falls apart. So, even my married classmates haven’t completely sacrificed their life for their love life.

For those who choose to be a housewife, this a different story. And laying their destiny on their man’s hand can be hazardous, as it is written here.

I just hope my classmates are all happy with their choice. I’m happy with mine.


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