broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, thoughts, women

The kids equation

One of my friends, who’s a single mother of two adorable kids, recently broke off with her man, who also has three kids. She admitted she didn’t see herself with five kids in her house. That perspective didn’t please her that much. And she also feared she would always come after his kids. As he would always come after hers.

Dating someone who has children is complicated. You have to deal with the kids who won’t necessarily like you. And who will always come before your own interest in your significant other’s heart. Plus, except if the ex lives in another country or is not present anymore, you will have to deal with the ex in the picture too.

Some couples do get over those obstacles. One of my coworkers is married to a man who already has twins from a previous union. But she loves her step-daughters and is really happy every time they come to spend the week-end with their dad. I guess it really depends on how your significant other cares about you.

If he/she always put his/her children interests before you, there will be a time when you feel frustrated from this.

Some resolve this equation by having another child with their significant other. But this doesn’t necessarily help you, as your significant other can prefer his kids over his new one.

That’s why some women refuse to date a man who already has children. “I had too many relationships where I was always the one left behind. In some cases, I had a hard time getting along with their kids, who wanted to get their parents together. In some cases, even if the kids accepted me, I was always put behind them” C., 39, said.

Unfortunately, when you’re over 30, chances get thinner to get a significant other without any kid. Most of the people of my age are now mother or father.

So, if you had to choose, would you prefer someone with or without kids as your significant other?


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