One of my friends recently admitted she was back with her ex, after all they went through together. She told me I was the only friend in her close circle to know that, because as she said, “I know my closer circle won’t approve my relationship with him“.
It’s been six months they’re back together now. I didn’t tell her I was disappointed she made that decision. We fought a lot together because of him in the past. I didn’t like the way he treats her and how she becomes when she’s with him. I still don’t like the way he treats her now. But last year, my opinion changed a little bit on him when she had to undergo a surgery. Although they were not yet back together, he rushed to her side at the hospital, and took care of her while she was recovering.
I’ve told her many times to stay away from him. Because he was never available for her. He left her for another woman, then came back to her, then left her again, … It’s been nine years now they have this on and off relationship.
Two years ago, she moved in his apartment. After three years spent living with her cousin and a friend of her, she found herself looking for a new rent but her next plan failed as her future roommate let her down at the last minute. So, her ex offered her to stay at his place temporarily. Back then, I was furious she made that choice, since she could have stayed at my place, at her cousin’s home, or anywhere else. I warned her she could get kicked out if he found someone else. But she didn’t listen to me, nor to any of her friends who were as worried as I was for her.
But unexpectedly, she managed to stay at his place.
There was a trade off during this time: she disappeared. She used to shop with me and our common friends, go to movies/parties together, get drunk together or just talked for hours at her place or mine. She became a no show. She kept on canceling our meetings, and whenever we saw each other, she was mean and aggressive.
Instead, she spent an increasing amount of time with her ex.
From time to time, though, she would speak to me about her problems with him. But every time, I would tell her to find another place to live. As a result, she took her distance with me even more.
Curiously, she admitted to me she was back with him. This time, I decided to back her choice.