broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, Uncategorized, women

Facebook vs reality

Facebook is dangerous to our mental health and suits better people who are narcissistic, according to several studies.

But also, try to do what you do on Facebook in real life. You won’t get exactly the same reaction from your friends and family. Some will even tell you your ego is too inflated, because in society, it’s best to keep it low, especially in my country.

For example, try to display your pictures you took on holidays during a conversation with your friends and you would see their reaction. Nobody expect to be disrupted in a conversation like that. And to be fair, when my friends come at home, I won’t show them my pictures, unless they ask for it.

Besides, yes, it’s great to see a picture of you on top of a mountain or holding an achievement. But for other people to see that, it can either cause admiration or jealousy.

To see too many pictures like that, especially if your life isn’t as great as it should be, can make you miserable.

I particularly resent when my friends post their numerous pictures of parties, holidays,… on Facebook. Partly because they remind me I’m not invited and I’m just here working long hours at the office.

That’s why I don’t go that much on Facebook. And I prefer to send my pictures to my friends who ask for it.

But to be fair, I see a particular use of Facebook, if you want to take a revenge on someone.

I’ve seen a friend of mine, since her divorce, posting pictures like crazy where she’s a at party or with friends, always smiling. I understood later she tried to show her ex she’s fine without him, as he dumped her for another woman. Hence the divorce.

I’m not mad at her for doing her best to show she’s happy. It’s the right medicine when you have your heart broken like she had.  Yet, I wonder if she’s that happy. It takes time to heal a broken heart. And I’m not sure Facebook is really helpful.

Once, someone tagged me on Facebook with pictures we took while we were in New York. I was surrounded by journalists who took as many pictures as they could. And they tagged me in pictures where I was laughing with some male journalists, and two where I was holding them as it was our last day together.

Immediately after that, two of my ex’s, who I didn’t unfriend, wrote me an email asking me how I was. Until that tag, they didn’t contact me at all. One even asked me to go and have a drink with him. But I didn’t reply to him.

The ex is probably the most difficult thing to bear on Facebook. Nobody wants to see his/her ex living a life happier than ours, especially with a new significant other. Remember that episode of Girls where Marnie looks frantically at her ex’s pictures on Facebook, with his new girlfriend? You get the picture.

But here, if you bump into your ex with his new girlfriend in a party, on the streets, or anywhere else, this can be painful too.  However, this can happen less frequently than on Facebook.

And remember this: the life we pretend on Facebook is not always as glamourous in real life. For instance, I discover a party girl, who’s friend with me on Facebook, has an impressive list of drugs, including anti-depressant in her bag recently.

There is always a side of us we don’t want to show. And that side, only our real friends can see it.


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