Unfortunately for most women, we all dated at some point in our life an emotionally unavailable man. How do we know he’s unavailable? The most obvious signs are when he’s really absent from your life: he barely calls you, never return your phone calls, forgets to wish you a happy birthday, doesn’t attend your special occasions like an award, a book signing, … and doesn’t celebrate with you your milestones. He’s also the guy you can’t count on whenever life turns its back on you.
There are many explanations why he’s unavailable like that. The first one may just be simple: he’s married to someone else or in another relationship. He may also juggle several relationships while with you. In those cases, if you stay in such relationship, you face the risk of feeling unloved and getting angry on him. Unless you are also looking for a relationship with no strings attached, it’s best to leave a relationship like that. You won’t change him.
But sometimes, the guy is unavailable emotionally because of different reasons. He can shut down emotionally because he’s in the midst of a divorce or grieves a parent who just died. In those cases, it’s best not to force things. But we can’t stay in a relationship like that. A friend of mine experienced this recently. Her man was really affected by his divorce and wasn’t that affectionate with my friend. So, she told him they should call it quits but also, he could call her back when he feels better. So far, my friend hasn’t heard of him.
Then, there’s the guy who simply doesn’t love himself. Don’t expect him to love you.
Why do we choose unavailable men? I’ve noticed plenty of my friends fall for that kind of guys. Psychologists have an explanation: we don’t love ourselves that much.