broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Different needs

Recently, a friend of mine told me she had a huge fight with her man. They have been together for almost two years now, and my friend wants them to live together, because so far, they have seen each other only on the weekends, and live at the opposite side of the town. My friend said she’s getting old and wants to start a family. But when she told him about her projects, he backed off. “He said he’s too immature to have a kid” she said.

Since then, she’s been a little bit sad. She told me she didn’t bring this topic again in their conversation. “If in the next 6 months, he doesn’t show any interest in changing our life, I guess I would have to call it quits with him” she added.

Indeed, it would have been easier for her if he shared the same project. But from the start, from what she said to me, it has been very complicated between the two.

She met him on a dating site. Their first date was a little bit awkward to me, because she said he was very shy and let her do all the talking. She wasn’t expecting to see him again afterwards, but he asked her for a second date, and then, they became official. “It’s going slowly” she told me. But I never got the impression he was really fond of her, nor he was the one who was chasing her.

I told her I’m not a good example for relationships, but most of my ex’s, after more or less 6 months of dating, gave me the key to their apartment, make some rooms in their drawers for my clothes and stuffs, and wanted me to move in with them. It didn’t turn out well afterwards, but they did try to commit a little bit with me.

One of them even told me that we would get married and have two kids together. He was the one who initiated this. I didn’t ask for anything. So I told my friend she may need to find a man who will really want to commit.

I would have preferred if she told me she was the one who was hesitating because of his attempts to be with her. Plus, I was a bit worried at the beginning he wouldn’t be a great match for her, as he doesn’t like to travel (he has never left France before meeting her) and isn’t supporting her as a journalist.

Once, we were at a party together, and she seemed to have a great time with a common friend, who’s a goofy guy with a great sense of humor, while he’s never trying to make her laugh like our friend. It did occur to me they would have made a better couple. And our goofy friend was in the middle of a nasty break up. Yet, when he sees her, he’s just happy. It’s not really the case of her actual boyfriend.

So, if he’s not proposing you to live with him, I guess it’s not worth staying with him.


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