broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships

Better off alone?


Last night, I was invited to a birthday party, where I ended up in the kitchen chatting with the house guest and her friends. Her husband and her friends’ husband were in another room, playing a game where the loser had to drink shots of whisky. Of course, after one hour, the husbands started to talk incoherently as they all got drunk.

One of the women shrugged her shoulders when she heard they were playing that stupid game. She stormed into their room and shouted at her husband, mentioning he had to wake up early the next morning as they were about to hit the road for their holidays in Italy. He was supposed to be the driver.

When she came back in the kitchen, she looked at us very disappointed. But then, another woman told her her man wasn’t better. Because he was the one who initiated the game.

I know her man really well. And to be fair, I pity her a lot, because I know how unfaithful he can be. When she got pregnant two years ago, he cheated on her, and one of my friends told me he tried to woo her as he was sending her a lot of suggestive SMS. He also has a nasty habit of looking at me with concupiscent eyes, like one of my coworkers, who’s a pervert.

Later, the woman who shouted at her husband admitted she didn’t understand him very well. “I don’t know if he’s serious or if he’s just trying to make me laugh” she said. But her husband has a curious sense of humor, consisting of mocking other people. Well, if you read Lilian Glass’s book, “Toxic men”, you will know that when a man is joking at your expense, he just says what he really thinks. He’s serious, despite his laugh.

It is said that it’s better to laugh it off, in those situations. But sometimes, the jokes can be hurtful.

When I left the party, I thought I was better off alone. This is the good side of being single: there is no significant other to criticize you or diminish you.

On the other hand, I have some examples of couples where there’s no animosity like that. When I’m invited to my friends’ place, I never end in situations like these. Usually, I end up doing the dish washing with my friends and their husband, and we just laugh together (and get drunk together). One of my friends’ husband cooks when they receive guests, and she’s the one who chat with the guest while he’s in the kitchen, sometimes popping by.  Yes, my friends have had downs in their relationship, but so far, they have all managed to get through that.

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