Several sociologists in my country, but also in other countries, have warned about the growing inequality between the rich people and the rest of the population.
Some studies also pointed that rich people marry other rich people. “You won’t find a CEO with an blue collar worker, because they don’t have the same social circle” one sociologist says.
“When you make 100.000 dollars a month, you basically don’t have common interests with your friends any more” said Rainer Voss, a former banker in the documentary “Master of the Universe”.
You also don’t share the same values than someone who comes from a richer circle than yours. And even if you share a common circle with your significant other, sometimes, that’s not even enough.
In the book “Swimming with sharks”, written by the anthropologist Joris Luyendijk, the author had met an Asian immigrant dating a banker from the City. They met each other while they were at university, but he became absorbed by his job after he got hired by a bank, while she went to work for a shop to pay her student debts. Slowly, their relationship has been coming apart, as she was just happy with her job, while he was proud of his job. Their two worlds don’t collide, as she explained she barely sees him because he’s always at work. He never met her friends, nor her parents, because he cancelled most of his appointments. She did meet his banker friends, but this didn’t go well either.
Some couples don’t survive this. Some do, as some people who work hard can get disgusted by their way of life after some time. Their significant other can play a role in their decision. Some can also stay together because the significant other accepts everything.
“I had a patient who admitted her husband used to bring hookers home so they can have a threesome. She didn’t want to divorce him” one of my friends, who’s a doctor, told me once.
Some couples do come apart. “We met each other during a dinner. I was invited by the host, but it was my first time there. I was sitting next to him, and we spent the night speaking to each other. We also share a same professional circle which allows my presence. Yet, it wasn’t enough. When we started dating, I realized it wasn’t enough. Our worlds didn’t collide that much. He was a star, invited everywhere. It wasn’t my case. After a rocky year spent together, he left me for another woman, who featured regularly on the mundane pictures of art exhibitions, charities, cocktail parties … I started to see him with her on those pictures. It was tough” a friend of mine experienced.
Why is there so many differences with people now? And why are there too many walls between people?