life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Living apart, together


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I don’t want to ever live with a woman again. I’m better off living alone in my apartment” says one of my friends, who recently left his ex-significant other because she was very mean with him.

He has moved in his apartment six months ago, and since then, he has decided not to live again with someone else. “All my relationships were failed. I’m difficult to live with. I want to have space, calm and time alone to write, to just be myself,…” he says.

His last relationship was a bit in a hurry. After his divorce, he quickly moved in a new house he bought with his next woman. His relationship lasted 4 years, until he fainted at home. He called me in tears, saying he had enough, and told me she was very mean with him, always shouting at him. He never mentioned that before. I told him to immediately leave. He stayed in a hotel for two months, and broke his relationship, before finding a new place to live.

Eventually, he will find someone else. But I guess this time, he won’t be in a hurry to live with her.

To be fair, if I ever find love again, I don’t want to live with my significant other too. Like my friend, I do enjoy waking up in the morning without any rush, any noise. I do enjoy living alone too. Especially during the week, very chaotic.

In our western societies, more and more couples choose to live apart together. They only see each other on the weekends, but during the week, they live apart.

Some do that for practical reasons. “We live together during the weekends, in the house we bought together after we got married. But I found a new job 200 kilometers apart from where we live, and she didn’t want to leave her job, her friends and family here, so we have found a small apartment next to my job, where I live during the weeks, and I go back in our house during the weekends” says one of my former coworkers.

In fact, most of the couples living apart together fall into this category. But there are also couples who don’t want to change their life after they met their significant other. “I met him a a cocktail party five years ago. I didn’t expect to find love again after my divorce, fifteen years ago.  I didn’t expect him. But he was absolutely charming. Both of us have children from our previous marriages. But my sons are not living with me during the weeks, because they go to college. His daughter is also studying abroad. I didn’t want to move out of my house to live with him. He didn’t want to move out his house too. But we decided to open our home for each other. He can always come at my place, while I can always go at his place. Whenever I have some days off, I can spend some time at his place. Usually, we spend the weekends at this place“, M., 50, says.

So, do you think it’s better to live apart together, or to live together?

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