broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts

Multiple lovers at once


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One of my friends is convinced that friends with benefits are the future of all relationships. “People like me don’t want to live with someone again. And it’s a way for them to have multiple lovers at once” he says.

I’m not convinced. It’s not as easy to have a lot of friends with benefits like he says. The first condition is to find people who are cool with this. It’s not the case of everyone. People can be jealous, especially if you friend with benefit spends more time with his other friends than you. You can feel rejected even if you choose this option over being chosen for another person.

Our society isn’t made for friends with benefits. There are many events in your life where you are invited plus one. The first example that comes in my mind is the official party of your company. Mine usually schedules at least three events like that during the year. I can’t imagine my coworkers and bosses’s face if I would show each time with a different lover, or a turnover of the same lovers. The same goes for your family. Families may not be as cool as you are with your friends with benefits.

A friend of mine used to have multiple lovers at once. She never introduced them to us, and she would show at her job events and her family gatherings alone, despite having three different lovers at the same time. She never mentioned any of them to her nephews, nor her mother.

My friend, who thinks friends with benefits are the future, never told his mother about his lovers, and never mentioned them to his daughter, who wouldn’t understand why her dad is having multiple lovers at once.

Plus, many accept to be friends with benefits, in the hope the relationship will turn into something more serious. It’s a female speciality.

My friend may have some friends with benefits, but I bet some of them hope they will turn into his main squeeze.

I don’t think friends with benefits are sustainable. My friend who had multiple lovers dumped all of them at once because she met the love of her life. She’s been with him for 8 years now. And she told me she doesn’t miss her old life at all.

I may be wrong.

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