broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts

Rebound relationships


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“It’s over with my spouse” said one of my friends recently. “I’m ok, don’t pity me. Don’t worry for me. I’ll be just fine” he said.

It’s been one month now he’s separated from her. Yet, they still live together, even if he thinks about selling their house and move closer to his work.

He has already subscribed to dating app like Tinder and Happn. I already pity the woman who will be his next significant other, especially if he finds her really quickly. She will be his rebound relationship. With the ex still in the picture.

Right now, he spends a lot of his time outside his house during the evening, to avoid running into his ex, who still lives with him. And spends his night at bars, where he drinks too much. He shows really the signs of someone who’s doing just well.

His wedding was a disaster he told me. His wife has a drinking problem. Like another friend of mine told me, in this kind of destructive relationships, both partners turn to alcohol to stand each other, until one of them decides it’s over because he or she has enough of this relationship. But none of them leaves the relationship without any bruise, and without no addiction.

I was a bit surprised he told me about his marital problems only recently. I had some doubts his marriage was in trouble, as he spends a lot of time on Facebook. Three years ago, his wife joined Facebook and liked every of his posts on the social media. Until last year, when she suddenly disappeared, at least from Facebook. He used to talk about her all of the time, until last year.

It’s funny how Facebook can be a good indicator of a relationship which is about to end. I see the same pattern with one couple I know. The man has been on Facebook for a long time now, while his wife only joined this year the social media. Some of their friends told me they’re not happy for the moment with each other. Especially him. I guess she has joined Facebook as a desperate attempt to change his mind.

I only know, because I’ve been through that,  that if he jumps into a new relationship right away after this one, this relationship will be ill fated. Rebound relationships are not great, and can leave you worse than if you spend some time alone. Some people jump into these relationships, only to feel more miserable afterwards. This kind of relationships helps you temporarily to ease the pain of the divorce or the breakup, but it’s a quick fix, and the descent is difficult.

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