celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The work spouse


As we spend a lot of time at work, some of us create very deep bonds with our co-workers. Sometimes, it even leads to a relationship, and a wedding. In my office, we count three couples who met at work. And that’s the just the official version.

One of the married couples from my office was formed on the ashes of their previous relationship. They weren’t married when they started to date. Both were in a relationship with someone else. He was sitting just next to my desk at the time, and he often talked to me about his girlfriend at the time. She also had a boyfriend.

They didn’t spend their time together. In fact, they respected the rules for avoiding love at work: they hung out with other co-workers. They were never alone together as I understood. But they have created a group of friends among those co-workers, and organized a lot of activities outside work. They went to concerts, bars, conferences,… all together. They started to date after one of our Christmas parties. Usually, during those parties, all of us get really drunk, and they were just the last to stand up after everyone else was gone.

It’s funny, because another of our office couples also started their romance after our Christmas party. They were the last to stand up after everyone else was gone.

So, I don’t think it’s possible to fight the sexual tension you can feel with one of your co-workers.

Of course, if you spend all of your time with the same co-worker, whether he/she’s gay or not, it can lead to a relationship.

Unfortunately for one of our office couples, I have noticed a bond created with another co-worker. She spends all of her lunches with him. Sometimes, her husband comes and join their conversation. They go for their morning coffee together, without her husband. At our last Christmas party, they were sitting next to each other, while her husband was sitting in a different room with other co-workers. She didn’t try to join him during the night. She stuck to our table, next to our co-worker, the whole evening.

They are not the only ones who are in this situation in my office. Two of my other co-workers often go out for lunch together. They don’t invite any other of their colleagues to join them. Both of them are married, to other people. They are all friends. They often go on holiday all together. Yet, they don’t go to lunch with their spouses.

Two other ones are in the same situation. He has a girlfriend who lives in Brazil, and goes to see her whenever he can. She’s single. They also have a group of common friends they hang out together. They go to bars, concerts, disco, … together with their group of friends.  He calls her “sweetheart” in front of everyone. They left together, on their own, during our last Christmas dinner.

Office romances often start because we spend a lot of time together. One of my friends told me she encountered a lot of office romances during her previous job, where she worked for a law firm. During deadlines, people would work until 4am. But she recalled she assisted sometimes only two lawyers of the firm working on the same case until early in the morning. Friendship, deep bonds, can be created in those tensed moments, especially if you work on the same case.

You will know if you’re over the sole co-worker relationship to a real romantic relationship if you start to miss your co-worker when he/she’s not there, if you feel jealous because someone else’s talking to him/her, if you look after him/her to tell him/her about everything in your life.