broken heart, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Does your career depends on your spouse?


A year ago, Harvard Business Review  published the results of a study  of more than 4,000 people by Brittany C. Solomon and Joshua J. Jackson of Washington University, about how the spouse’s personality can influence someone’s success.

Of course, this study only focused on married people. There are many examples of single people who found success before meeting their significant other, the most obvious one is J.K. Rowling.

The study mentioned that for both men and women, a conscientious spouse has a positive impact on income, promotions, job satisfaction,…A conscientious spouse will bring you serenity, confidence and a satisfying home life. So you don’t have to worry about everything in your private life.

That makes sense, because if you do all the household chores by yourself, or if you worry a lot because your spouse is impredicable, you may feel distracted at work. As a result, you don’t pay attention to the opportunities your company can offer.  There’s another factor playing in this distraction. If you feel diminished or powerless because of your spouse, you will sell yourself short everywhere else.This doesn’t help you to feel confident enough to take a promotion at work, for example.

A friend of mine told me recently her ex was really a burden in his life. “She called me at least 5 times a day to remind me of doing this or that or because she needed help for something, ranging from the least important thing to do to more serious ones” he said. “Needless to say, I was often distracted at work. And I saw an important promotion passing by me because my chief thought I was a bit of an absentee” he said.

I had a burnout during my previous job. Yes, the job was very demanding and I had to work a lot, but I wasn’t help at all by my ex, who didn’t bring me a peaceful relationship because he was always criticizing me for various reasons. He would even shout at me in front of our children because he wasn’t satisfied with the meals I cooked. Nothing I did was good enough for him” another friend of mine said.

If you keep on fighting with your significant other, you may feel like shit afterwards. That doesn’t help you to have peace of mind and to do your job properly.

Besides, your spouse can feel jealous of your success, and may put some hurdles in your wheel, even if it’s not done on purpose.

But a nasty divorce can also eat all your energy. Paul Tudor Jones, a hedge funds manager, caused a stir in 2013 when he said he redeems every of his managers who goes through a divorce. The distraction coming from that difficult period is overwhelming, he says, especially when there are children involved.