broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts

The poison of jealousy


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We all can feel jealous for various reasons. It begins when we are very young, when we are left alone for our newborn sister or brother, or simply because our parents are busy with their work.

Jealousy is a very powerful feeling. It can kill us. But that energy can be turned into something creative if we are connected to that feeling. It’s called emotional intelligence.

But unfortunately, jealousy can turn against us. Especially with our friends and our significant other. We can lose them because they have enough with our toxic feeling. “My ex didn’t trust me. She was jealous for no reason. She thought I had a mistress and she regularly searched in my pockets or my car, desk,… for a proof of my infidelity. I was faithful to her. But eventually, I grew tired of her jealousy and I ended the relationship” a friend of mine said.

Sometimes, the best solution is to talk with our significant other about why we are so jealous. “I realized she was jealous because I didn’t spend my time with her but with my friends. She told me she felt jealous because she felt left out in our relationship. She added she didn’t want me to end my friendship but find a balance between my friends and her. We agree on a schedule where I could still see my friends, but I could also spend quality time with her. It wasn’t difficult for me. I just realized I spent too much  time being single and with my friends” a friend of mine said.

But even if we feel honest with our jealousy, we can make our significant other miserable. “He was very honest with me every time he felt hurt by something I did. But eventually, I realized I didn’t feel free to do whatever I wanted, including seeing my friends, because he felt left out” a friend of mine said, who added she felt in a prison in her relationship because of that.

Jealous people are insecure. Some people do recognize they have a problem with jealousy, and go to therapy to save their relationship if they feel their partner is slowly going away because of their behavior.  But some people don’t.

If you feel dominated by the jealousy of your partner, and there’s no improvement, maybe your relationship is ill fated. Jealousy can be a poison for relationships.

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