celibacy, dating site, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The disaster of first dates


The Washington Post wrote an article about how restaurants and bars hate your first Tinder dates. One of the reasons behind this is the loss of revenues  from your date over groups who really want to have a dinner and a good time. Because you can nurture just a glass for one hour and decide not to order another one. First dates come cheap. People don’t want to invest a lot because they don’t know in advance their first date.

I’ve seen a lot of advices saying after two back and forth on Tinder, you should schedule a date. Two back and forth are not enough to know your Tinder date. So if you accept to go to this date, it’s a blind date.

One of my friends told me he exchanged a lot of messages with his Tinder date before meeting her for the first time. So they were very happy to meet each other for real after weeks of conversations online. They met in a bar she chose. And ordered a lot of drinks.

It’s also my case. My Tinder date and I spent weeks exchanging messages before agreeing to see each other. He let me choose the bar. I picked the one where they make good mojitos. We drank three drinks before deciding to go to a restaurant, and came back after our restaurant to the same bar where we drank another two glasses. I didn’t expect to spend so much time with him. I was even sad to go home but he asked me if we could see each other again very soon. I accepted right away.

Here in my country, people who want to meet their online dates choose a bar for their first meeting. There are plenty of bars in my town where you can just order a drink. Some bars are specialized in this. You can see this because there are couples who stop talking to each other just after 30 minutes spent together, and start to look around them. Not the sign of a date which is going well. I’ve been to those. All I know is I wanted to leave the conversation and the guy as soon as possible. Maybe because I didn’t know what  I was looking for.

So, yes, there are good or bad surprises with blind dates. But if you just exchanged some words with your Tinder date (or Happn/Bumble/Match.com,…) before agreeing to meet in real life, you don’t know if your date will turn right or not. At least if you spend some time to learn about your online crush before meeting him, you will know if he/she’s worth to meet in real life.


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