“Some people never call or text you to see if you’re okay. You have to call them if you want to have some news, but don’t expect them to reciprocate” says one of my friends. “They are not mean, they are just a bit autistic because they don’t see the problem with their behavior. But eventually, you will feel tired with this one-sided relationship because they don’t change. They will be the one who forget to wish you a happy birthday, or who will never take any initiative” she added.
Indeed, shortly before I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I told him I was hurt he didn’t call or text me at all during my holidays, nor when I got back from it while several of my friends texted me during that time to see if my holidays were fine. And he told me he didn’t understand why I felt he was indifferent to me.
He doesn’t understand because he’s like that. I’ve noticed his friends were always calling him. But he never calls them. “That kind of people are interesting to spend some time with. But they never bother to call you. He’s probably interesting like that” says my friend. My ex has a big house where he lives alone. He often hosts his friends who asked for it. He counts a lot on people to maintain a relationship. “They are not really his friends” says my friend. Because his friends may use him.
“If you want to be with him, you’ll have to take the initiative all of the time, because you can’t count on him. Some people do like that” says my friend. Another friend of mine told me my ex would be better with a depressed person, “someone who lives in his/her mind but isn’t there” she says.
For some people, it’s okay if people don’t call them. I guess my ex would find a better match with that kind of person. As for me, I’m not okay with that. I tend to stop wasting time chasing people who never reciprocate.
Calling your friends or the one you love to see how they are doing is a mark of interest and of kindness. A person who’s interested in you will keep in touch, by calling you, texting you, commenting or liking what you post on social medias,… when you don’t see them face to face.