broken heart, celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts

Going back with your ex


Recently, one of my friends told me she was surprised her parents, who divorced 20 years ago, got back together. But it’s very recent. And she doesn’t know if this union can last. “After all, they used to fight a lot when they were together, and in the end, my father couldn’t stay home anymore so he spent his time with his friends, or travelled abroad alone, or just hang out in bars, alone while my mom used to stay home and got neurotic about it” she says.  “Since the divorce, and because my sister and I already moved out of the house, they haven’t spoken to each other. My father was really absent. She didn’t want to speak to him. But they met again at a party where they didn’t know both of them were attending” she added.

My friend is not happy about this. Because she hasn’t forgiven her father for letting his family down after the divorce. But I told her those kind of unions are not 100% guaranteed to last.

Why do we go back to our ex?

When we loved someone, is it possible to ignite the same feeling again?

 A friend of mine would say no, because she feels she’s not the same anymore than when she met her ex for the first time. She met him at a party when she was 16. Back then, she didn’t know what she wanted to do in her life. When later, she needed to boost her career, she found a major hurdle  with her ex who didn’t understand why she wanted to do so. Now she made that change and broke with him along the way, she feels she can’t go back with him. “I wonder what the hell I thought to fall in love with him” she told me.

But in her case, she left her ex in 2008. Eight years later, she couldn’t feel more different.

I guess it also depends on the feeling you have for your ex. If you feel relieved because you broke with your ex, like my friend, going back with your ex is just impossible.

If you feel sad without your ex, can’t stop thinking about him/her, feel jealous because she/he met someone else, you will grateful to go back with your ex. Sometimes, years don’t tame that feeling. Nor a different lover.

Another friend of mine just bought the house of a couple who is divorcing. But she told me they have tried to divorce many times before, only to go back  together over and over again. “I’m sure they will come back together” she added.

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