celibacy, life, love, men, sex, thoughts, women

The sapiosexual


glasses-books

A sapiosexual is someone who is only attracted to intelligent people. This definition is very large. I fall into this category since all my ex’s have that common point. But recently, I experienced a strange conversation on Tinder with a guy I matched who told me he was a sapiosexual. He said that after I told him about the books I’m currently reading. I’m a strange reader, because I read several books at the same time. He said I was turning him on with that detail. But then, he asked me to tell him about physics and some obscure concepts. “Seduce me”, he added. I didn’t reply. To be fair, I don’t know anything about physics. I don’t have that scientific sensibility.

The guy has pretty high standards for his potential significant other (or maybe just a hookup, it’s Tinder after all…).

I don’t ask on Tinder to my matchs if they can quote a poem from Baudelaire, some lines from”Economie du bien commun”, a theorem from Mandelbrot,…. Even if the guy can quote any of these, I’m not sure it will turn me on anyway.

I’m not sure any of my ex’s would be able to do so too.

When one of them mocked me because he found “Economie du bien commun” on my coffee table, I didn’t dismiss him because of his ignorance. In fact, I was hurt by his behavior, because he mocked the intellectual who read this book,  he mocked who I am. This is a big deal breaker for me.

If he had asked just why I was reading that book, or asked questions about this book, or even ignored it, I wouldn’t have called it quits with him.

There is more than the intellect, there is emotional intelligence.

What’s the point of dating someone who can discuss with you for hours about literature, but treats you with no respect?

Some years ago, I had a date like that. I met the guy at a conference. He invited me to have a drink with him. We spent the evening discussing about Celine. But when the bill arrived at our table, he asked me if we could go dutch. And he mocked me because I had difficulty to open the door when we went out of the restaurant. He could have helped me gently to open the door.

So, sapiosexuality maybe a horrible dating trend.

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