celibacy, life, love, men, reflexion, thoughts, women

If there is a will, there is a way


edgar

A long time ago, one reader of this blog wrote me an email ending with this sentence: “A sailor without any destination cannot hope for a favorable wind”. In other words, if we don’t know what we want, we can’t expect to have a positive result.

A will is sometimes not enough, because we can fail at our goal. It’s true for everything we try to accomplish, from our personal goals in life to every challenge we take in our professional life.

But even with failure, we can learn precious lessons from our experience. And eventually succeed. It took me four attempts to win my award in journalism some years ago. I could have dropped the first time I failed, but I didn’t. A friend of mine encouraged me to pursue my attempts. I remember the way I won that award. Before, I didn’t ask people to read my article and to criticise  it before publishing it and sending it to the jury.  The last time, I asked two journalists who were very very difficult to please to read my article, and they advised me to make some small changes in my article before it was published. It was a good advice.

When it comes to love, sometimes, the first attempt is not the right one. One of my friends took years to eventually get back with her ex. They have recently bought a house together and I don’t know why but I hear wedding bells for these two. She met him through mutual friends almost twelve years ago. They started dating shortly after, but he broke up with her after 6 months because he told her he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Yet, they didn’t stop contacting each other. Both dated other people, with not much success, until my friend suddenly had to find another apartment because her two roommates decided to move out of their common apartment as both of them were about to get married. At the time, she had the choice of sharing an apartment with me, or moving in with her ex who had a spare room at his place. She chose that option. She told me she had always wanted to get back with him. It didn’t mean she got back with him right away after she moved in with him. In fact, he kept her at distance at the beginning. But my friend had to be hospitalised  because of her endometriosis. He stood at her side during her hospitalisation. Shortly after, her father passed away. During the funerals, her ex stood at her side all of the time. She winked and smiled at me when I looked at them. That’s how I understood they were back together.

To love someone is to learn how to love him/her, says the philosopher Alain de Botton. It’s not obvious, not at all. But I guess it’s easier when we know what we want.

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