celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

He likes wealthy women

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I dream about wealthy women. I would like to date one of them who will want to sustain me” said one of my friends. He said that while laughing, adding he will probably last three weeks in this kind of relationship. He’s not a boy toy.

I told him he will be crushed in this kind of relationship because even if he’s not poor, his wealthy girlfriend would probably think he’s lazy or doesn’t do anything good. One of my friends, who used to date a wealthy woman, told me she was very mean with him, always gunning down him in front of other people. Wealthy people are much more meticulous about matters of law and propriety than people who are not that rich. So they are very careful about their wealth. In general.  My friend who used to date one of them told me his ex used him to parade at gala, but he felt she didn’t love him for who he is.

Women marry ‘up’ in income according to Elizabeth McClintock, but they tend to marry high status men when they are themselves high status. I don’t think a high status woman would be kind to sustain a man unless that man used to be high status. And even that case is not obvious.  I can’t see Amal Clooney leaving George to start a relationship with a man who just wants to be sustained by her. Nor Hillary Clinton, nor Melissa Gates,…

I don’t think I would accept to sustain a man either, to be fair. I expect the men I date to be financially independent at least. The only men I would sustain if there was a problem would be my godsons.

But I can understand my friend about some comfort to be in a relationship where your date invite you at his/her second/third/fourth residence located in the Bahamas, Courchevel, … Although I would be proud to pay for my vacations there…

 

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broken heart, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Why do we cheat?

Why do we cheat? The number one reason is related to sex. When we don’t feel satisfied sexually either by a lack of sex or of emotions, we tend to search other gardens. The next reason is simply because we fall in love with someone else. Some people also cheat out of revenge (because they’ve been cheated). Some people also cheat because they search for different experiences every day, week,…

Recently, one of my friends told me that every woman who is over 40 is a cheater. I was shocked when he said that, because most of my female friends who are over 40 are not that kind. Most of them are happily married. They would admit to me if they were cheating on their husband. Women who are 40 are at top of their sexually, so yes, they can be very demanding sexually. But it’s not a reason to be a cheater because of that.

To be cheated is a betrayal. Some couples do survive infidelity though. And polyamorous couples do accept their significant other’s lovers. But we’re not all forgiving infidelity. Because we’re jealous animals.

Most of my friends told me if their significant other cheat on them, they will have difficulty to forgive. One of them even ask me to tell her the truth about her significant other if I see him with another woman. My friend was cheated when she was younger. She found, three days before of her wedding, her future husband with another girl on his lap kissing and laughing in a bar. Since then, she has had difficulty to trust her other lovers.

My other friend didn’t told me if he was cheated on before. But he changes quickly the conversation when we talk about that. I guess it’s sensitive for him.

Infidelity isn’t only sexual. We can bond emotionally with someone else because our emotional needs are not met in our couple.

But I understand how hard it is to be cheated on. It feels like you’re not the number one in your significant other’s heart anymore. It hurts.

 

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celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Lost in emoticons (miscommunication)

Recently, I had a chat with a friend of mine on WhatsApp, and it turned a bit awkward. It went like this.

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He sent me an emoticon with the head upside down. I didn’t understand this emoticon because I’m not used to this. I only use just the ones very obvious and very usual. I thought he was drunk because it was late. I asked him if he was drunk. He said he wasn’t. Then I asked him why he sent me this, and he replied by another emoticon I didn’t understand  either. I felt powerless and left the conversation after sending him a last emoticon.

GroupLens, a research Lab from the University of Minnesota, found that different people had vastly different interpretations of some popular emojis. Using emojis can be at high risk of miscommunication.

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So, yes, it’s tricky to use emoticons in a conversation.

My friend is very complexed by his writings, and he usually sends me a lot of pictures and emojis to fill the conversation. Fortunately, he’s a much  better conversation face to face and in groups.

But I wouldn’t recommend anyone to use emoticons to make a move with someone you fancy.

It’s the best way to fall into endless back and forth, and feel frustrated because it leads to nowhere.

A clear and firm invitation to meet for a drink, a coffee, a restaurant, … is always a better option.

Texting has its limit.

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