life, men, relationships, thoughts, women

Changes (the first move)

Now that the #metoo movement has gained traction, some people fear the relationship between men and women will never be the same. The line is however very clear between flirting and harassment/ sexual molestation. There is no problem when someone tell you how beautiful you are. It becomes a problem if that person asks you for a sexual favor or a kiss just after these words. But if it’s just an introduction for a casual conversation, it’s not a problem. Unfortunately, the person who tells you this may  not be very handsome. But if you don’t feel at ease with that, it’s always ok to be honest, or to shy away.

Men don’t deal very well with rejection. But it’s difficult for women as well. When I was younger, I had a crush on a guy who was my classmate. I dared to ask him to have a drink with me once, but he turned me down. I didn’t attempt to ask him again for a drink. Last year, he found me on Facebook, and asked me if it was possible to have  a drink with him. But I turned him down. As an answer, he unfriended me on Facebook. He could have been insulting with me, but he didn’t.

Some men, faced by rejection, insult the woman who turned down them. At my fitness club, two women recently discussed how insulting the men are because they don’t answer their questions while they are training. A woman who says no is not a slut.

Some say after the #metoo movement, women will make the first move more often, while men will avoid to say anything. With dating app like Bumble, and even Tinder, women can make the first move. Some men don’t mind.

The key, I guess, is to feel at ease. Nothing can be good if you feel on the defensive all of the time. But always listen to your feelings.

 

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