celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

The Tinder ghosts


Some men are on Tinder just for the thrill of like, as if they search an instant gratification like they would do on Facebook or Instagram when they post a picture, a Selfie or a link to an article. These men don’t necessarily look for a meeting or any kind of relationships. Sometimes, they are already in the comfort of a relationship or are married. They are not unfaithful. They just need that instant gratification.

If you match with these ghosts, they won’t start the conversation. Some will try to have a conversation and even schedule an appointment with you, usually in the middle of the week, and never on the weekend as they have a family and activities planned. If you say yes, they disappear immediately. And if you ask when do you meet, they will find a lame excuse.

I had a match like that, who only asked me for a date without asking me personal questions. He was determined as he sent me several messages during three weeks. I didn’t reply, until he started to ask personal questions. And I agreed to meet him for a drink. But then, he stopped to send me messages. And he gave me a lame excuse for not coming to our date. He told me he had to travel for his work and didn’t remind about that before. But he didn’t reschedule a date with me.

Usually, you can spot them and know if they just look for instant gratification when they go M.I.A. after they set a date with you. A men who is genuinely interested in meeting with you would still keep a conversation with you after the agreement of date.

These men want to know they have their options open.

But it can be hurtful if you find your man on Tinder while you’re are in a relationship. One of my friends told me a single friend of her noticed her partner on Tinder. When she confronted her man, he told him he had never met any of his matches. But my friend told me it’s hurtful for her because she doesn’t have any trust for her partner after that. “He lied to me because he didn’t told me he was still on Tinder, so why would he tell me the truth about his matches?” she said.

It’s difficult in this case to trust your significant other.


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