Some men, who are commitment fearful, look for a woman with a borderline personality. They look after these women who can sleep with strangers just after a few verbal exchanges, who can burst into anger during an argument, who are very emotional if they fear they are abandoned, who are sexually impulsive, with unstable mood, who abuse substances (alcohol, weed,…),… “You don’t get bored with those people” says one of my friends. For sure, if you like a relationship which is like a rollercoaster, a borderline personality may be a match made in heaven for you. But there’s a catch, because it’s not easy to receive a call in the middle of the night by your lover who threatens to commit suicide. Also, you don’t know on what foot to stand with that kind of personality. They can set fire to your car, you house, or kill your cat because you were flirting with the waitress at the restaurant. And people who abuse substances of all kinds are dependent, and if they are deprived from their substance, they enter into an unpleasant state.
Some men like these kind of women because they feel like a saviour and a hero. There’s also a sense of danger with a borderline personality. Some people like that.
“Have you ever slept with a stranger?” asked of my ex’s. “Where did you have sex in public places?” he asked. “Do you smoke weed?” he added. He was looking for a borderline personality in me. Unfortunately for him (and thankfully for me!), I’m not like that. I’m really really boring.
I guess he had found his match now.
I don’t say all men fall for borderline women. My ex is himself a bit troubled. Sometimes, those kind of men who look for a borderline woman only reproduce their familial situation. One of my friends whose mother is bipolar is living with a bipolar man. We look for people who treat us in familiar ways.
What's love got to do with it? 