celibacy, life, love, men, relationships, thoughts, women

A kiss on the first date

Is it ok to kiss on the first date? It depends. I’ve been to many dates where I was not sure at all about the man I had in front of me. I’ve only kissed one of my dates on the first date because I found him so sexy with his blue shirt and I felt secured with him. After all, we all look for someone attractive.

Most of the time, I’ve waited at least until the third date to kiss, to evaluate our interactions and our compatibility.  I also believe that men who can wait and still date me until the third date are interested in me. One of my friends told me she considers rude when a man pushes to interact physically on the first date. “It could mean he’s just interested in having sex with you” she says.

Unfortunately, there are no rules when it comes to kiss on the first date. One of my friends told me he kissed his date on the first date, and so far, they are still going strong, after two years.

I guess the best way to decide if you want to kiss on the first date is to listen to your gut. If you don’t feel any spark after the first date, where we are supposed to be at our best, maybe it’s the sign it’s not going well. But if you feel a spark, and want to wait to kiss your date, it’s ok.

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celibacy, dating site, life, love, relationships, thoughts, women

Facebook as an love counseller?

 

Would you listen to Facebook if the social media advises you to date a person its algorithms calculated your compatibility?

As the social media wants to be part of the world of dating site and apps, it’s possible that this outcome will happen sooner or later. But are we ready to delegate our decisions to an algorithm? Especially with love?

I believe we still have the last words in this situation. Because it’s not because an algorithm calculated the compatibility between two people it would lead to a wedding. We still have the choice to date that person, and feel attracted or not to him/her. Besides, the algorithm would probably used the data you left on Facebook, like your photos, the things you have liked on people’s profile, your messages and your posts. Is it enough to get a real view on our personality?

 That would be terrifying, honestly. Especially since the social media have been accused to influence people’s vote thanks to an analysis of their data.

Besides, is there a right person for us? The philosopher Alain de Botton says we will marry the wrong person, and it’s a good thing. Simply because we’re not perfect, and each of us have a history that has shaped who we are.

And we don’t like when there’s no choice. For example, recently, there was a free ice cream offered to everyone in my building, but there was only just one flavour: chocolate. Many people didn’t want the ice cream. I didn’t want it either. We have a sneaky way to rebel against thing.

And finally, it takes two to tango. Even if we are compatible, there’s a chance one of the “future” partners isn’t that interested or is emotionally unavailable.

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